Last updated at 21:15, 25 Apr 2016 Uploaded at 17:28, 28 May 2012
So, everyone has a story. This is mine. Well, not all of it, but in terms of my journey with this community, this is it. 2010. Rockstar released a game. A cowboy game. At the time of me purchasing this game, my mother fell terminally ill. As an only child, it fell on me to walk alone with her. This game, released by Rockstar Games, took me away from the pain I was now feeling in my personal life. I was watching the woman who raised me, fade from this world. This game, made by Rockstar, allowed me to breath. It was a stunning game. More than a game. It was emotion. It was the human spirit, all encapsulated within a game. The world was alive. The sun shone right, the clouds waved back at me, the atmosphere felt real. I lost myself in that game. We've all done that right? Escaped into a world that couldn't harm us.
So, at this time I also got into modding PC games. WOW. Fallout3. Fallout New Vegas. WOW. Post-apocalyptic DC, as envisioned by Bethesda. Nevada as envisioned by Obsidian. WOW. The Garden of Eden Creation Kit. WOW. It's funny. Post-apocalyptic DC painted a picture of how I was feeling but somehow, it was missing what I had felt in the Rockstar Cowboy game. The environment, the weather, the lighting, the atmosphere. I knew that if I could transpose what I felt of Red Dead Redemption into Fallout 3 or New Vegas then I would have the perfect world to escape into, away from my troubles. I made that mod. I stepped into it. It was perfect.
I made my first mod for Fallout New Vegas - a weather and lighting mod. I gave it to the community expecting nothing. I'd found solace in a community that would host my vision. It was therapy, big time.
I joined the club. I was getting messages from my favourite modders saying well done. My vision, my art, my technique had been recognised.
2011. Skyrim. I played the game on the 11.11.11. I spent over 450 hours on XBOX 360 just playing the game, away from the PC.
Now, this was a game set in a time that was far away, a time that was many, many moons ago. A time of innocence. Let's face it, Skyrim is a beautiful concept. I DOF my cap to Bethesda. They got Skyrim spot on although they have failed with Fallout 4. I can forgive for this though. Whilst playing Skyrim, I noticed it lacked emotion on a deeper level. I recognised it straight away. The sun didn't shine right; the clouds didn't wave back at me, the atmosphere felt unnatural.
January 2012. My personal life was nearing hell. I was watching the most important person in my life lose grip on life. I fought a losing battle with her.
I decided that was that, I was going to mod Skyrim. Tamriel was the perfect world to escape into, forever.
7 months, 16 hours a day. Tweak, play, tweak, play, eat, tweak play, tweak, play, eat, bath, tweak, play, and sleep.
I had put my everything, my art, my heart, my soul, my vision, all into creating Tamriel in my vision.
It was therapeutic. I gave the mod to a few of my close modding friends who were also highly recognised mod authors. JJ, they said. You have to release it Climates of Tamriel.
COT was released to the community on the 4th July 2012. It was more than weather than lighting mod to me. I had laid myself bare.
Every man and woman, who introduced my version of Tamriel to their own, accepted it. I am grateful for the love, support and kind words I have received in abundance.
And all the storms I was chasing, rained down on the 28th of April 2014. I lost my mum.
I had put all my pain into modding. From my mum’s illness, something good came to many people.