I wanted to say thank you for this mod. I really didn't want to hate Demetrius because the way things are phrased it really feels like he is gaslighting his wife and obfuscating stupidity. I am hoping this mod makes me feel better about the miscommunications. I like Robin and I don't want her to be in a verbally abusive relationship, but figuring out communication styles is fine.
Just found this mod while searching for a Demetrius event mod I used to use, and I am really excited to put this in my game. I appreciate you making it! (Plus, now I don't need the other mod I was looking for.)
I am going to go ahead and assume that you meant this question in good faith, even though it’s entirely possible you didn’t.
The mod makes him more realistically autistic as opposed to a caricature or stereotype of autistic people. He is not “more” or “less” autistic, and your question comes across rather ignorant, so I’ll try to explain why.
Basically, autism is a spectrum, but it’s not a spectrum of “more autistic” to “less autistic”, it is a spectrum of one kind of autism to a different kind of autism. You might have heard of “high-functioning autism” and “low-functioning autism”, but these are falling out of favor for being... misleading at best, and offensive at worst. What we previously defined as “high-functioning” basically ended up meaning “Can this person act normal (or normal enough)?” The problem with that is, you’re still autistic, and it is still just as rough when you’re hiding it, if not more so. It can be almost unbearable for me to be in public places sometimes, but I don’t have meltdowns. Having the self-control to keep it together doesn’t lessen my suffering, it just means people can’t see it. So people assume that I’m not suffering and, by extension, that my autism isn’t as severe.
I gotcha mate. I delivered my question in a way that was rude, but I didn't mean any offense. I guess it would be difficult to make him "more autistic" without leaning into stereotypes, or "less autistic" without erasing his identity.
Hi! just to let you know, the manifest on the latest update still shows the version number as 2.0.0 so SMAPI is throwing up a false update tag. I've changed mine, but thought I'd make a note of it in case it causes confusion for others!
ETA: After a dozen tries, I've given up on Nexus processing the correct file (I feel a little better -- I thought that I'd fixed this yesterday, but it appears the issue is Nexus, not my file). As a workaround, I updated the Nexus documentation to set the manifest back to 2.0.0, which is what the Nexus file has. Please let me know if this causes any issues for you. Thanks again!
Just discovered this mod. As someone probably on the spectrum (no official diagnosis yet, but we’re pretty sure), I really appreciate this mod and I wanted to say thanks for making it.
I am curious, does this improve Demetrius and Sebastian’s relationship at all, or does it remain about the same but with Demetrius actually remembering he has a stepson? I admit, I don’t know which I’d even prefer; his not-great relationship with Sebastian is certainly all too realistic... but if Seb and Maru are at all close in age, he must have had a hand in raising Sebastian, so I’d expect him to care about Sebastian a little more. Hmm. Anyway, curious what your take on it was!
When I was writing DotS, I thought a lot about how public perception about relationships is often skewed. For example, for the longest time I thought all of my female friends were in terrible relationships, until I figured out that part of the reason they got together to complain about their partners was because they wanted a safe space to vent. The fact that all I was hearing was bad did not mean that everything about the relationship was bad; just that when time was limited, they were focusing their discussion on what was bothering them, either to get it off their chest or to get advice. That was the lens I used when updating the canon content.
That said, I didn't change any of the relationships. Demetrius and Robin are still together, so presumably there is something positive in their relationship. While he obviously cares about Maru, he equally obviously has a bad relationship with Sebastian. I have a lot of thoughts about why Demetrius and Sebastian's relationship is the way it is (and many of them are not very Robin-positive, as much as I love her character otherwise), but exploring that is outside the scope of this mod (at least for now!)
49 comments
The mod makes him more realistically autistic as opposed to a caricature or stereotype of autistic people. He is not “more” or “less” autistic, and your question comes across rather ignorant, so I’ll try to explain why.
Basically, autism is a spectrum, but it’s not a spectrum of “more autistic” to “less autistic”, it is a spectrum of one kind of autism to a different kind of autism. You might have heard of “high-functioning autism” and “low-functioning autism”, but these are falling out of favor for being... misleading at best, and offensive at worst. What we previously defined as “high-functioning” basically ended up meaning “Can this person act normal (or normal enough)?” The problem with that is, you’re still autistic, and it is still just as rough when you’re hiding it, if not more so. It can be almost unbearable for me to be in public places sometimes, but I don’t have meltdowns. Having the self-control to keep it together doesn’t lessen my suffering, it just means people can’t see it. So people assume that I’m not suffering and, by extension, that my autism isn’t as severe.
I hope that was enlightening for you.
ETA: After a dozen tries, I've given up on Nexus processing the correct file (I feel a little better -- I thought that I'd fixed this yesterday, but it appears the issue is Nexus, not my file). As a workaround, I updated the Nexus documentation to set the manifest back to 2.0.0, which is what the Nexus file has. Please let me know if this causes any issues for you. Thanks again!
I am curious, does this improve Demetrius and Sebastian’s relationship at all, or does it remain about the same but with Demetrius actually remembering he has a stepson? I admit, I don’t know which I’d even prefer; his not-great relationship with Sebastian is certainly all too realistic... but if Seb and Maru are at all close in age, he must have had a hand in raising Sebastian, so I’d expect him to care about Sebastian a little more. Hmm. Anyway, curious what your take on it was!
That said, I didn't change any of the relationships. Demetrius and Robin are still together, so presumably there is something positive in their relationship. While he obviously cares about Maru, he equally obviously has a bad relationship with Sebastian. I have a lot of thoughts about why Demetrius and Sebastian's relationship is the way it is (and many of them are not very Robin-positive, as much as I love her character otherwise), but exploring that is outside the scope of this mod (at least for now!)