So I fixed it.
TA-DA.
Installation: Unzip into your Starbound/Mods folder.
Uninstallation: Delete the folder marked "Glitchfix".
Permissions: Eh, whatever.
Troubleshooting:
Q: The game isn't loading, and it says this mod is to blame!
A: I'm 100% certain you either messed up something in the .modinfo file or the game's updated. If the former, delete the mod folder and re-install. If the latter, just open the Glitchfix.modinfo file with your text editor of choice and change "Beta v. Furious Koala" to whatever the latest update is called (hint: it requires the exact syntax that shows in the bottom right of the title screen) then go pester your friendly neighborhood Chucklefish developer about the error because, hey, seriously, they haven't spotted it yet?
Future Updates: Haha what.
Thanks: To the grandest of PH.D bearing liquids, Dr. Pepper, because I'm a Pepper too. And you can't tell me otherwise. Now get that straight jacket outta my face and go away, I need some time alone with the good Doctor.