More specific info about what these should do as well as a warning/notice for those who want to do the full marriage with Lyssia:
Both of these patches will ensure Lyssia never checks on your characters marriage status, allowing you to pursue her romance quest and get her romance related dialogue even if you already have a spouse. For the LyssiaMarriageBlind patch that's where it stops, so that one is best for people who want to keep Lyssia as a lover/mistress/paramore instead of trying for actual marriage with the Skyrim vanilla marriage system. This is what I personally use.
The LyssiaCompletelyMarriageBlind patch will (should) additionally allow you to initiate her marriage related dialogue even if you've already got a vanilla spouse. Be warned though that as I don't use this in my own game I don't know for sure how this will play out with the vanilla marriage quest (Bonds of Matrimony) and the Temple of Mara ceremony. You might also need to remove yourself from the married faction before Maramal will perform the ceremony and I don't know how that will affect your pre-existing vanilla spouse. Best case I imagine is that they might still speak to you as of you're married and just no longer have the unique spouse functions and dialogue (cooking you meals, opening a store and giving you a share of the money, Hearthfire DLC function to assign them to your player home, etc) as the game only recognizes your new spouse. Worst case I imagine is that your previous spouse either goes back to just being a regular follower and treats you as if you were never married or if they have custom "break up" dialogue they might treat you/speak to you with hostility as if you cheated on them.
Some more questions about specific followers. Among my stuff: NFF, FG, "Amorous Adventures Clean SSE", game 1.6.353, and Vortex.
Remi is likely the only follower who's such good company that I'd have her in the party rather permanently as a mostly or entirely platonic buddy. I'd marry her if she would then be extra affectionate, even platonically, but I gather that's not the case? (In limited experience, my favorite person to marry has been Mirai--she's very sweet with my character as spouse.)
I am now trying out Recorder as a follower, early-ish in a game, and she's fun. I gather that she can develop as one's lover, which is cool. It's not clear that there's any FG connection available to her, however. Does this second-marriaging and eloping approach change that? (But she's not for NFF...)
I'm also trying out Nether's Jenna, and she's pretty cool, and she gets flirty, but I gather that it doesn't go anywhere; she'll just say flirty things occasionally forever? (If so, quite a contrast with Nether's Elana, who is a disarmingly unshy and chatty lover.)
I thought Livia's romantic potential is an independent things not unlike Caesia's?
I've found Lielle (a student at the College of Winterhold from Rose of the North mod) to be really charming. According to Reddit reviewer Featherstonest, Lielle does vanilla marriage and, alas, there's not much new content resulting from it. A safe way to expand that would be keen.
Lielle, Livia, and Jenna can all be in NFF (though Jenna can also operate separately (and thus not need a slot)).
You mention the Illia Expansion mod. Its description says, "What this mod does not do: Add romance or marriage." But she becomes a Dragonborn lover? Is the FG aspect automatic? (For various NPCs, that's something specifically added by some mod.) Same question for that author's Brelyna Expansion. I forget which mod I have is adjusting her appearance, but she's about the cutest dark elf I've met. But there's also this question: Both Brelyna and Illia can be lovers thanks to Amorous Adventures. Do these expansion mods by Granfdad avoid messing that up?
Q: I thought Livia's romantic potential is an independent things not unlike Caesia's? A: Her romance is quest and dialogue based but it's not independent as she will lock you out of it if you're already married or marry someone else while her romance is in progress, and if you actually want to go past simply verbally declaring your feelings for each other and actually marry her then you'll have to use the vanilla marriage system and she counts as a vanilla spouse. So not really independent no.
Q: Remi is likely the only follower who's such good company that I'd have her in the party rather permanently as a mostly or entirely platonic buddy. I'd marry her if she would then be extra affectionate, even platonically, but I gather that's not the case? A: Afraid not, at least not right now. That's something the mod author Maple would need to impliment herself. Right now Remi can be a love interest and wife (vanilla wife) but it's a sexless marriage if you go with her.
Q: I am now trying out Recorder as a follower, early-ish in a game, and she's fun. I gather that she can develop as one's lover, which is cool. It's not clear that there's any FG connection available to her, however. Does this second-marriaging and eloping approach change that? (But she's not for NFF...) A: Recorder is incomplete. She has a short and entirely dialogue based romance and she will not do a temple of Mara marriage ceremony due to her mod being incomplete and abandoned. Instead, you can become "lovers" through dialogue and she will put you in the married faction as if you had vanilla married her. She has no other vanilla spouse functions. She will lock you out of a relationship by default if you're already vanilla married but you can get around that by either using my patch or just removing yourself from the married faction using the console command I've stated previously, either will allow you to do her romance. Depending on you making the right dialogue choices you will get a chance to make your relationship with her official by becoming lovers, again this is purely dialogue. Do this and she will from now on refer to you as her lover and if you have FG installed you will be able to initiate sex scenes without issue (should become available without having to seduce her). You shoud not use NFF on her at all, you do not need to elope at all. If you want to stop your romantic exploits with Recorder then you don't have to do anything else but if you want to marry anyone else, or do the romance paths for many other mod followers, then you'll need to use the console command I described before to remove yourself from the married faction. In fact, you should just go ahead and do this anyway as soon as you and Recorder become lovers, just to get it out of the way and not have to think about it anymore.
Q: I'm also trying out Nether's Jenna, and she's pretty cool, and she gets flirty, but I gather that it doesn't go anywhere; she'll just say flirty things occasionally forever? (If so, quite a contrast with Nether's Elana, who is a disarmingly unshy and chatty lover.) A: I've never played her so I don't know. If she's made by Nethers then you can probably elope with her using NFF, check the mod page to be sure.
Q: I've found Lielle (a student at the College of Winterhold from Rose of the North mod) to be really charming. According to Reddit reviewer Featherstonest, Lielle does vanilla marriage and, alas, there's not much new content resulting from it. A safe way to expand that would be keen. Lielle, Livia, and Jenna can all be in NFF (though Jenna can also operate separately (and thus not need a slot)). A: If they're compatible with NFF then you can use it's elope function to marry them or use FG and seduce them until they're your lovers. Either will work since they don't have their own fleshed out romances.
Q: You mention the Illia Expansion mod. Its description says, "What this mod does not do: Add romance or marriage." But she becomes a Dragonborn lover? Is the FG aspect automatic? A: It's not romance or marriage no but when used together with Amorous Adventures Plus and Flower Girls it becomes something more. Use these three mods in conjunction, trust me on that, it just works and turns her into a deviant little sex witch. Since she still uses the vanilla framework and has a vanilla voice she's entirely compatible with Flower Girls and I used the FG Irresistable mods Irresistable spell on her to make her a lover. It's all perfectly compatible with each other and works perfectly. FG inserts custom sexualized dialogue using vanilla voices into those NPCs it's working on and shice she uses a vanilla voice it fits seemlessly. The FG stuff isn't automatic unless you use the FG Irrestible mod, adds a spell that when cast on an NPC it autocompletes the FG seduction process, basically a mind control alternative to the standard seduction process.
You seem like someone who's aware of which custom followers on the Nexus can be married regardless of whether or not the player is single. Any recommendations for this area? I know Auri is independent and Aviendha, and fortunately, so is Lyssia with this patch. Who else? I'm also aware of Sofia, but unfortunately, I've found that follower to be quite buggy, at least for me and I know you have a Recorder patch. I'd also happily accept instructions on how to make a follower marriage-blind yourself, if you're down to shoot a PM. Having the power to do that sounds pretty valuable.
I'm playing a wizard character with an interest in creating a big harem, so the more, the merrier. XD
EDIT: Ah, right, the forums are down, never mind on that PM.
M'rissi's Tails of Troubles SE https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrimspecialedition/mods/9666 (Has her own custom and separate romance and marriage, totally separate from and blind to vanilla marriage)
There is No Umbra - Chapter III https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrimspecialedition/mods/89089 (Has independent romance will become your lover/spouse of sorts, totally separate from and blind to vanilla marriage).
Recorder https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrimspecialedition/mods/4718 (You'll need to not be in the married faction to initiate her romance so either use the console command or my patch to simplify things. If you use my patch you can romance her if already married but if you want to get a vanilla wife after romancing her then you'll have to use the console command anyway since Recorder's romance puts you in the married faction.)
Seductress Faye https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrimspecialedition/mods/20185 (You pretty much have no choice but to become her lover but she won't marry you so you'll be stuck with a horny vampire constantly trying to sleep with you and any NPCs you've seduced with the Flower Girls mod.)
Viconia DeVir https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrimspecialedition/mods/40282 (She's got her own romance totally separate from and blind to vanilla marriage. She looks like ass by default so I use Proteus mod's NPC module to assign her a different face preset, specifically this one but you do you https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrimspecialedition/mods/80985.
Serana Dialogue Add-On https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrimspecialedition/mods/32161 (Has vanilla independent romance and can become your lover and then your wife. The lover bit can be done even if you're vanilla married but I don't believe you can marry her if you are. She's a lot like Lyssia in that she's got these two different stages intimate relationship you can have. If you do marry her she should count as a vanilla wife but you won't have a vanilla wedding ceremony, just some dialogue and it skips the ceremony due to Serana not being down with Mara for some reason.)
Improved Follower Dialogue - Lydia https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrimspecialedition/mods/38473?tab=posts (Has romance but I'm not sure how independent from vanilla marriage it is.)
Vanilla Follower Expansion - Illia (VFE) https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrimspecialedition/mods/92333 (Independent romance of a sort. You basically become a sexual partner to her immediately and she's kind of a freak. Plays very well with Flower Girls mod for animations and dialogue. No romance or marriage added but she's still a horney witch follower who's down to get freaky with you.
Livia Salvian Revamped https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrimspecialedition/mods/33318 (Has her own romance but uses vanilla marriage at the end of it. Use my marriage blind/dark brotherhood patch if you do her romance post getting vanilla married (or console command remove yourself from the faction).
These and the ones you mentioned are what I'm currently playing with and using for my harem. Additionally, I use Flower Girls, Amorous Adventures Plus, Flower Girls - Irresistable, Nethers Follower Framework, Unique Zombie Follower - Trish https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrimspecialedition/mods/37425, ColdSun's Pantheon - Legends - Vayne - The Dunmer Spy https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrimspecialedition/mods/77924. There are several other custom voiced and romancable followers from ColdSun so take a peak.
FYI, removing yourself from the married faction whenever you get put into it (player.removefac C6472) is the equivalent of taking off your wedding ring so the new chick your trying to seduce can't tell you're married when they check. My patches just make it so they never bother to check. Regardless, any follower that uses vanilla marriage at the temple of Mara will not really become your wife if you've already got one, since you can only have one vanilla wife at a time. You can propose to a second woman if you've removed yourself from the faction and reset the vanilla marriage quest (resetquest 74793 followed by setstage 74793 10) and this will allow you to go through the whole wedding ceremony with the new person, but once you've exchanged rings they'll just go back to being a regular follower again. You'd have to reset the 'RelationshipMarriageFIN' quest (resetquest 21382) beforehand for them to become your actual vanilla wife. Doing this though will divorce your current vanilla wife and return them to being a regular follower/NPC. What I do to sort of get around this is pick one custom follower who uses vanilla marriage to be my vanilla wife (Remiel, Lyssia, Serana) and marry them first, then go through the whole wedding ceremony with the later spouses (vanilla ones like Ysolda or custom like Livia) and then use the NFF Elope feature to "elope" with them after the ceremony is done. This gives them some of the features of a vanilla spouse and allows you to engage in intimate actions with them (if you've got Flower Girls or other compatible mod like it).
"Any follower that uses vanilla marriage at the temple of Mara will not really become your wife if you've already got one, since you can only have one vanilla wife at a time. You can propose to a second woman if you've removed yourself from the faction and reset the vanilla marriage quest (resetquest 74793 followed by setstage 74793 10) and this will allow you to go through the whole wedding ceremony with the new person, but once you've exchanged rings they'll just go back to being a regular follower again."
So those commands (after the marriage) will not stop one's first Mara-temple wife from being and acting as one's wife? And the commands will allow one to progress to the Mara-temple wedding with another follower who weds that way? But after that ceremony, for the new 'bride' it will be as though that ceremony never happened? (Weird...) Yet the gal from the first Mara-temple marriage will still be and act as one's wife?
"and then use the NFF Elope feature to 'elope' with them after the ceremony is done. This gives them some of the features of a vanilla spouse"
Elope with her _after_ having a Mara-temple ceremony with her? That is unintuitive, grin. Is the purpose of doing the Mara-temple ceremony with her (instead of, say, going straight to eloping?) purely because of its role-playing value, or does it also have some part in making the mechanics work out? Is the eloping only viable for the custom NPCs who are safe to have in NFF? So, not Recorder, Remi,...
"and allows you to engage in intimate actions with them (if you've got Flower Girls or other compatible mod like it)."
This wouldn't break the custom follower? And does FG connect with the follower/elopee automatically, or are there other steps needed?
"What I do... is pick one custom follower who uses vanilla marriage to be my vanilla wife (Remiel, Lyssia, Serana) and marry them first, then go through the whole wedding ceremony with the later spouses (vanilla ones like Ysolda or custom like Livia)"
What are the qualifications meant by "custom like Livia"? I.e., which custom followers can this method work with?
Siamangos Q: "So those commands (after the marriage) will not stop one's first Mara-temple wife from being and acting as one's wife? And the commands will allow one to progress to the Mara-temple wedding with another follower who weds that way? But after that ceremony, for the new 'bride' it will be as though that ceremony never happened? (Weird...) Yet the gal from the first Mara-temple marriage will still be and act as one's wife?
A: The command player.removefac C6472 will make you appear single to other followers, vanilla or mod added, allowing you to access any romantic or marriage related stuff they have that is otherwise normally restricted to only non-married player characters. Not all mod followers do this faction check, it's something the author has to deliberately put in so it's only going to be there if they specifically want these things to be inaccessable to a married player. The commands resetquest 74793 followed by setstage 74793 10 resets the vanilla marriage quest, allowing you to once again put on an amulet of Mara, propose marriage to your desired follower, and go through the full temple of Mara wedding ceremony (mod followers often have more s#*! you have to do before any marraige options become available though, such as personal quests or custom affinity systems, vanilla followers just need you to talk to them while 1) not being in the married faction and 2) while wearing an amulet of Mara after resetting the quest). Together, the three console commands I gave above are what you need to romance, propose to, and go through the temple of Mara marriage ceremony multiple times with multiple followers. These commands will do NOTHING to your original vanilla spouse (whether it's a vanilla NPC or mod follower).
If you WANT to completely swap you vanilla wife for another one then you must ALSO us the console command resetquest 21382. That command resets the 'RelationshipMarriageFIN' quest, which is something that is executed automatically when you complete the marriage ceremony. It's this that makes the particular follower you official vanilla spouse and it can only apply to a single follower at a time. If you use the original three console commands I mentioned then you can take a second, and many more afterwards, follower through the entire romance/marrige process all the way until the end of the marriage ceremony, but when 'RelationshipMarriageFIN' tries to execute again it will simply not work, and the new spouse will go right back to being a regular (non-spouse) follower again, as if the whole marriage ceremony never happened. Using that fourth console command to reset this will allow you to make them a full on spouse, at the cost of effectively divorcing and resetting your relationship with your previous vanilla spouse, making it like you were never married to them at all.
Q: "Is the purpose of doing the Mara-temple ceremony with her (instead of, say, going straight to eloping?) purely because of its role-playing value, or does it also have some part in making the mechanics work out?
A: Yes, this would entirely be for role play purposes. I personally like taking the prospective spouse to the temple and having a ceremony, even if it doesn't actually result in them becoming a wife. For mod followers this allows you to hear any custom dialogue they have during the wedding ceremony itself. For vanilla followers who use the same recycled voice lines as every other vanilla follower there would be less incentive to bother, but for custom voiced followers with custom dialogue you shoud take the time to get the most out of them.
The elope function of NFF can be used (on NFF compatible followers) without doing all the other quest resetting s#*! I've described, you just won't get any custom romance/marriage dialogue that mod followers would come with, just a generic set of dialogue provided by NFF to which their replies will be silent/non-voiced. Using the NFF elope feature also allows you to basically bypass the romance quest progression of comaptible custom followers by how it inserts a second, alternative, path to getting them into your characters bed, and that's immersion breaking as hell, at least to me. That's why I like to use it AFTER completing their own custom romance quests and after hearing all their custom romance and marriage/marriage ceremony related dialogue. But that's just me man, role play, you do you.
Q: Is the eloping only viable for the custom NPCs who are safe to have in NFF? So, not Recorder, Remi,... A: I'm afraid so. Same with Flower Girls seduction and the Flower Girls Irresistible spells, they can seriously break the AI of mod followers with their own custom AI and follower frameworks. So no Remi, Lyssia, Aviendha, Sofia, Daegon, and many others unfortunately. Make sure you read their mod pages to see if their creators specify compatibility with NFF. You can however limit the features of NFF that ARE implemented on a follower you import into the framework, making it compatible and minimizing risk by disabling NFF functions that the follower already has it's own custom versions of (ex: Aurlyn Dawnstone can be made compatible this way), but generally you should stick with what the mod author tells you about their mod's compatibility.
Q: This wouldn't break the custom follower? And does FG connect with the follower/elopee automatically, or are there other steps needed? A: It can, it entirely depends on the follower. Vanilla followers are perfectly compatible with either FG or NFF. Custom followers might or might not be compatible with either FG or NFF, read the mods description carefully or check through the posts/forums for info on specific interactions before you try using these on a mod follower. FG inserts dialogue options that you can simply ignore (start seduction and end seduction lines basically), otherwise it doesn't do automatically do anything and won't cause problems with even custom followers, so long as you don't activate the seduction options on one of them. FG doesn't directly connect with NFF or it's elope feature at all. They basically serve the same purpose and do the same thing thoguh, so you wouldn't want to use both on the same character (i.e. don't seduce a character with FG and then elope with them with NFF).
Q: What are the qualifications meant by "custom like Livia"? I.e., which custom followers can this method work with? A: Custom as in mod followers that have custom voices and dialogue but which still use the vanilla marriage system and would count as a vanilla spouse. The Livia Salvian follower is custom voiced and has custom dialogue for her romance and marriage but still uses the vanilla marriage ceremony, faction, functions, and counts as a vanilla spouse (of which you can only have one). She also operates on the vanilla follower framework, meaning she doesn't use a custom framework made by the mod author, and therefore she is compatible with both NFF and Flower Girls. I would personally proceed through all her custom quests until her dialogue based romance is completed, propose to her, and go through the marriage ceremony, hearing and experiencing all the custom voiced diaolgue that comes with it. I don't however wan't her to be my singular "real" vanilla spouse when there are better followers out there to put in that role (Remi or Serana). So, after going through the motions and hearing all her custom dialogue I'd end up hitting hitting the dead end that is the already completed 'RelationshipMarriageFIN' quest, completed when I married the desired vanilla spouse (Remi or Serana), and Livia would go right back to being just a regualy follower again. Problem is I don't want her as just a regular follower, I want her as part of my harem of waifus, otherwise I wouldn't have bother going thorugh her romance quests/marriage in the first place. So, I'd then use either NFF or FG to turn her into a spouse or lover through other means. Again, this is purely for role play purposes.
It doesn't since this is just a patch that makes changes to the Lyssia follower mod's dialouges topics records. If you want to know about compatibility between oromance plus and the Lyssia follower mod itself then you'll need to search that mod's page for the answer. I've never used oromance plus so I don't know.
Lyssia v2.1 doesn't change the dialogue records that this patch edits, nor does it add any new records to the romance or marriage that need to be edited, so it should work perfectly fine still.
It seems like romance wont start after serana (sda) becomes wife but wouldnt adding condition requiring being married to serana help starting romance? Just asking since I’m pretty green at this.
This patch isn't responsible for that, it literally can't be. What you describe is what is normal for the Lyssia mod WITHOUT either of these patches. Make sure you have this patches plugin loaded AFTER the main Lyssia follower mod plugin, it must overwrite the original mod's records to work. Also, make sure you've read the Lyssia mod page homepage completely so you can be sure you've completed any and all other requirements for her romance to start.
No, adding a condition requiring being married to Serana would not help the romance to start.
Last time I looked inside SDAs plugin was several versions ago and it was so huge I just slowly backed away from it and closed the door, electing instead to simply do her romance first and have her be my primary/vanilla spouse and leave her as such. Theoretically she should be more compatible with this kind of thing as she doesn't use the vanilla marriage ceremony and you don't need to deal with Maramal, but there was just so many dialogue records last I looked that I just didn't think it would be worth the headache when I wanted to keep her as the vanilla spouse anyway.
If you begin her, Serana's, Romance, but then marry someone else, I am fairly sure, you can keep her as a lover. Likewise, marrying her first, has for me, in this current playthrough of mine, NOT stopped me romancing either Vilja, who normally checks for marriage... and even checks for potential hidden non-vanilla indicators..... or Remiel, who is plugged in to the Vanilla system, as I was able to get prompted to propose, and she began flirting (as opposed to just flirt dialogue for the PC opening up), something she does not do if you are married. I know SDA is MEANT to be a monogamous marriage pathway, and she is meant to lock you out of marrying anyone else, or not meant to begin romance if you are married, but it seems like for me, it has always been marry her first, or just begin the Romance and then marry someone else... and you will be able to keep the intimacy with her.
The only problem I came across is if you jump in to marriage with someone who is a vanilla follower, or plugged in to the vanilla marriage, before you ever Romance her, then that pathways seems to be inaccessible.
Sad really.... NO follower you expect you pick them over any other lol.... NONE are that good, not even Vilja, and she pips SDA and Remiel, who are her closest competition in terms of complete, deep, immersive, playthrough long, followers.
Apis4 now that's very interesting. I was under the impression that you could, after initiating Serana's romance, still vanilla marry someone else but that she would detect that and terminate her romance with you, using custom dialogue about how you cheated on her and broke her heart or something to that effect.
Being able to marry Serana (SDA) and then still being able to initiate romance with/propose to Remiel wasn't possible the last time I looked into Serana SDA since she put you into the PlayerMarriedFaction once you and her became a married couple. This would lock you out of any other vanilla marriages, including Remiel's since her romance/marriage dialogue has you NOT being in that faction as one of it's conditions for that dialogue to appear. I've made a patch to remove that condition from Remiel (awaiting approval to post) so that you would be able to propose to her while already married to Serana or someone else. However, if you've been able to do it without such a patch then the only explanation I can think of is if the author of SDA himself has altered the mod so that marrying her doesn't automatically add your character to the married faction. I haven't looked into SDA's plugin since like version 2 and a lot has been added to it/changed since then. Maybe the author finally accepted that people didn't want to be stuck with monogamy. I'll look into it some later today/tomorrow.
"The only problem I came across is if you jump in to marriage with someone who is a vanilla follower, or plugged in to the vanilla marriage, before you ever Romance her, then that pathways seems to be inaccessible." Yeah, that's a pretty easy adjustment and is what these marriage blind patches are meant to resolve, by removing the PlayerMarriedFaction=0 conditions from the romance/marriage related dialogue. This makes that dialogue accessable regardless of you already having a vanilla spouse as the follower simply no longer knows nor cares about it.
Apis4 I've just checked through Vilja's plugin and as far as I can tell she is totally marriage blind by default (Vilja v4.3). I didn't find even a single instance of a PlayerMarriedFaction condition in any of her dialogue, including all her romance, engagement, marriage ceremony, and post-marriage dialogue. From this it makes perfect sense to me that your romance or marriage with Serana SDA wouldn't have any influence on Vilja's romance and marriage.
Maybe I will get the 'You broke my heart dialogue'.... now... but last playthrough, I did not marry Serana, but just got ... frisky... with her.... then married Remiel... and I kept Serana's.... intimacy.... it just went no further.
I accidently married her this time, whilst taking Auri to the placer where the moths and draw knife are, as part of HER quest... because SDA Serana and Auri have banter and Serana has a few lines she speaks to you about Auri. So I figured since she was part of my crew, there with me and Auri, she would just speak about her... but I got some options I had not seen before... and that turns out to be that we're now married. Ooops.
I will B PO'd 2TMax! if I lose my relationship with her now, if I continue on and marry Remi!!!!
I am terrified now!!!! I am literally at the point where my only choice to stop Remi's awkward flirting... and cleaning crap off my face... is marry her loool.
Man, if that IS correct, then YES, SDA NEEDS your magic more than any other follower ROTFLMFAO!!!!!
To be honest, they had to KNOW everyone was going to want to marry her, married already or not, 'in love' with another companion or not... and just made her able to be married like Vilja or Sofia, as wholly custom, independent waifu. These follower authors.. they eff with us so bloody bad, its criminal I say :p
Damn I hope you aren't trapped. I once asked that mods author about her marriage and he told me she had custom dialogue to reject you if you were already married and other custom dialogue to break up with you if you vanilla married someone else when you've already married her. I took that to mean she could detect your characters removal from the married faction, which I figured must have been part of one of her scripts (rather than just a dialogue condition) if it was constantly monitoring that. That's why I settled on making Serana my vanilla wife and finding as many other custom followers with custom/independent marriages (like Sofia) or marriage equivalent options (like Auri) as I could to fill out my in-game harem, later added to with flower girls and NFF elope for vanilla NPCs. As such I never bothered to dig deep into the SDA plugin and never knew that she had an intermediary stage of your relationship that you could stop at where you and her are romantically involved but not actually married (like Lyssia does). I thought it was a single jump from follower/friends to vanilla married couple.
This could be a good chance to test it out though if you're up for it. She might have been cool with you vanilla marrying someone else while you and her were just friends with benefits but if you're now married to her it would be interesting to confirm what happens if you try vanilla marrying someone else (like Remiel, Lyssia, or even some vanilla NPC like Ysolda) or just usimg the console to remove yourself from the married faction. Just to see if/how it affects her and your relationship with her. Like I've said for people using my patch to do Lyssia's marriage path when they're already vanilla married, they'll likely get stuck and have to use the console to leave the married faction before the new marriage can happen, and I don't know for sure how that will affect your existing spouse, especially if they're a custom follower (since I'm still under the impression that SDA will detect your faction exit and she'll divorce you). Otherwise the best outcome I would hope for is that they just continue to treat you as their spouse, with all the same dialogue, and just losing the unique vanilla suppose functions since they should switch over to the new wife. But that's all just speciation on my part.
"I am literally at the point where my only choice to stop Remi's awkward flirting... and cleaning crap off my face... is marry her loool." As far as I can tell from looking into the plugin Remi's flirting dialogue should stop on it's own once you've gotten her regard for you high enough to unlock her marriage dialogue. I asked Maple about this and questioned Remi getting through all her flirt dialogue only to then halt all relationship progress, with no more dialogue to suggest any romantic interest exists, unless you propose to her. It seemed awkward to me that you would go from flirting one minute to acting like a regular follower with no indication of romantic interest the next minute. Maple didn't correct me and just expressed that she didn't go into so much detail as to add dialogue representing that your relationship with her is past the flirting stage but not yet in the marriage stage (for those already married or who want to marry someone else).
Ahhhh sweet.... so at least where I am right now... now I have just been prompted to marry Remi... well propose to her whilst wearing an amulet of Mara... means that no more flirting will happen right?
I guess I have no choice, make a clean save, propose to Remi, see what happens.
These people, they must have no taste in art of culture, how can you have a fantasy world, without a waifu harem!!!!
The coolest characters in all the greatest Fantasy stories, as well as all the best Isekaii Fantasy Anime, ALWAYS have a Harem... and what, are we not that cool? We are the 'Dragonborn'.... how effing epic is THAT?
We absolutely DESERVE .....Harem life....but they go right ahead and think their follower is somehow someone special enough to deserve our sole adoration? Pfftt :P
God Bless Emma, Waribiki, DjJohnJarvis, may the ground shake before them as they walk, for their foresight and understanding that their creations were but one piece of the Waifu Harem puzzle.
Oh no... now I also need to see what happens when I add Mirai to the mix!!!!! I THINK she at least, DOES have an ABSOLUTE custom, faction flag free, marriage, just like Vilja!.... or so I hope.
My damn harem is dwindling with every passing moment!!!! :p
OK so it seems like marrying Remi is now off the table.
I still have the prompt to propose to her whilst wearing an amulet of Mara in my journal.... but.... I cannot propose, there is just no option.
Serana stole my slot, it seems.
I had her as lover, before, and Remi as my wife..... and that was what I was angling for. I think the window to do it, is... narrow... get Serana to begin 'intimacy'.... before 'Its finally over" is a dialogue option post DG completion..... THEN once she is a lover..... but NOT a wife.... go with a wife. I know I did it before, I know I got no dialogue about breaking her heart.
I am miffed AF though, a non-vanilla, custom marriage, which you can easily accidently trigger btw... that still screws you out of your vanilla marriage slot?
Eff it... after my experiences with the people behind Remi, and my experience with SDA, I am deleting one, and lobotomizing the other. Time for a new game sans Remi, and with SDA removed.
I will go find Waifus who know the rules are of Harrem Life :p
"I still have the prompt to propose to her whilst wearing an amulet of Mara in my journal.... but.... I cannot propose, there is just no option." There's three ways I know to resolve this: 1) find the line in one of Serana's scripts that puts you into the married faction, delete it, and recompile the actor script. 2) remove the PlayerMarriedFaction=0 conditions from Remiel's proposal dialogue record (what I did). 3) remove yourself from the married faction in-game with a console command (player.removefac 000c6472) and cross your fingers that SDA doesn't detect it and break up with you.
So I look in my Skyrim/Data/...and find... SDA or Remiel? What is the file name I am looking for then? I will give this a try, because I dont want to leave Remi in the basement of mod house I have in the middle of nowhere, if I can help it... but her pointed 'Friend' lines, are irking me to tears, lol.... it's like... she KNOWS I am married... and wont marry me now.... but also... is upset I am not trying to marry her! Feels Passive/Aggressive AF bwhahahahaha, that's a little TOO much realism and immersion for me :p
I suck SO badly at anything like doing such fixes, but if it means I can keep Remi around, and lose the silly mission in my journal, then I will bite the bullet.
If I may "3) remove yourself from the married faction in-game with a console command (player.removefac 000c6472) and cross your fingers that SDA doesn't detect it and break up with you." won't work since SDA marriage uses custom marriage faction it's called "SDA_MarriageFaction"
48 comments
Both of these patches will ensure Lyssia never checks on your characters marriage status, allowing you to pursue her romance quest and get her romance related dialogue even if you already have a spouse. For the LyssiaMarriageBlind patch that's where it stops, so that one is best for people who want to keep Lyssia as a lover/mistress/paramore instead of trying for actual marriage with the Skyrim vanilla marriage system. This is what I personally use.
The LyssiaCompletelyMarriageBlind patch will (should) additionally allow you to initiate her marriage related dialogue even if you've already got a vanilla spouse. Be warned though that as I don't use this in my own game I don't know for sure how this will play out with the vanilla marriage quest (Bonds of Matrimony) and the Temple of Mara ceremony. You might also need to remove yourself from the married faction before Maramal will perform the ceremony and I don't know how that will affect your pre-existing vanilla spouse. Best case I imagine is that they might still speak to you as of you're married and just no longer have the unique spouse functions and dialogue (cooking you meals, opening a store and giving you a share of the money, Hearthfire DLC function to assign them to your player home, etc) as the game only recognizes your new spouse. Worst case I imagine is that your previous spouse either goes back to just being a regular follower and treats you as if you were never married or if they have custom "break up" dialogue they might treat you/speak to you with hostility as if you cheated on them.
Remi is likely the only follower who's such good company that I'd have her in the party rather permanently as a mostly or entirely platonic buddy. I'd marry her if she would then be extra affectionate, even platonically, but I gather that's not the case? (In limited experience, my favorite person to marry has been Mirai--she's very sweet with my character as spouse.)
I am now trying out Recorder as a follower, early-ish in a game, and she's fun. I gather that she can develop as one's lover, which is cool. It's not clear that there's any FG connection available to her, however. Does this second-marriaging and eloping approach change that? (But she's not for NFF...)
I'm also trying out Nether's Jenna, and she's pretty cool, and she gets flirty, but I gather that it doesn't go anywhere; she'll just say flirty things occasionally forever? (If so, quite a contrast with Nether's Elana, who is a disarmingly unshy and chatty lover.)
I thought Livia's romantic potential is an independent things not unlike Caesia's?
I've found Lielle (a student at the College of Winterhold from Rose of the North mod) to be really charming. According to Reddit reviewer Featherstonest, Lielle does vanilla marriage and, alas, there's not much new content resulting from it. A safe way to expand that would be keen.
Lielle, Livia, and Jenna can all be in NFF (though Jenna can also operate separately (and thus not need a slot)).
You mention the Illia Expansion mod. Its description says, "What this mod does not do: Add romance or marriage." But she becomes a Dragonborn lover? Is the FG aspect automatic? (For various NPCs, that's something specifically added by some mod.) Same question for that author's Brelyna Expansion. I forget which mod I have is adjusting her appearance, but she's about the cutest dark elf I've met. But there's also this question: Both Brelyna and Illia can be lovers thanks to Amorous Adventures. Do these expansion mods by Granfdad avoid messing that up?
A: Her romance is quest and dialogue based but it's not independent as she will lock you out of it if you're already married or marry someone else while her romance is in progress, and if you actually want to go past simply verbally declaring your feelings for each other and actually marry her then you'll have to use the vanilla marriage system and she counts as a vanilla spouse. So not really independent no.
Q: Remi is likely the only follower who's such good company that I'd have her in the party rather permanently as a mostly or entirely platonic buddy. I'd marry her if she would then be extra affectionate, even platonically, but I gather that's not the case?
A: Afraid not, at least not right now. That's something the mod author Maple would need to impliment herself. Right now Remi can be a love interest and wife (vanilla wife) but it's a sexless marriage if you go with her.
Q: I am now trying out Recorder as a follower, early-ish in a game, and she's fun. I gather that she can develop as one's lover, which is cool. It's not clear that there's any FG connection available to her, however. Does this second-marriaging and eloping approach change that? (But she's not for NFF...)
A: Recorder is incomplete. She has a short and entirely dialogue based romance and she will not do a temple of Mara marriage ceremony due to her mod being incomplete and abandoned. Instead, you can become "lovers" through dialogue and she will put you in the married faction as if you had vanilla married her. She has no other vanilla spouse functions. She will lock you out of a relationship by default if you're already vanilla married but you can get around that by either using my patch or just removing yourself from the married faction using the console command I've stated previously, either will allow you to do her romance. Depending on you making the right dialogue choices you will get a chance to make your relationship with her official by becoming lovers, again this is purely dialogue. Do this and she will from now on refer to you as her lover and if you have FG installed you will be able to initiate sex scenes without issue (should become available without having to seduce her). You shoud not use NFF on her at all, you do not need to elope at all. If you want to stop your romantic exploits with Recorder then you don't have to do anything else but if you want to marry anyone else, or do the romance paths for many other mod followers, then you'll need to use the console command I described before to remove yourself from the married faction. In fact, you should just go ahead and do this anyway as soon as you and Recorder become lovers, just to get it out of the way and not have to think about it anymore.
Q: I'm also trying out Nether's Jenna, and she's pretty cool, and she gets flirty, but I gather that it doesn't go anywhere; she'll just say flirty things occasionally forever? (If so, quite a contrast with Nether's Elana, who is a disarmingly unshy and chatty lover.)
A: I've never played her so I don't know. If she's made by Nethers then you can probably elope with her using NFF, check the mod page to be sure.
Q: I've found Lielle (a student at the College of Winterhold from Rose of the North mod) to be really charming. According to Reddit reviewer Featherstonest, Lielle does vanilla marriage and, alas, there's not much new content resulting from it. A safe way to expand that would be keen.
Lielle, Livia, and Jenna can all be in NFF (though Jenna can also operate separately (and thus not need a slot)).
A: If they're compatible with NFF then you can use it's elope function to marry them or use FG and seduce them until they're your lovers. Either will work since they don't have their own fleshed out romances.
Q: You mention the Illia Expansion mod. Its description says, "What this mod does not do: Add romance or marriage." But she becomes a Dragonborn lover? Is the FG aspect automatic?
A: It's not romance or marriage no but when used together with Amorous Adventures Plus and Flower Girls it becomes something more. Use these three mods in conjunction, trust me on that, it just works and turns her into a deviant little sex witch. Since she still uses the vanilla framework and has a vanilla voice she's entirely compatible with Flower Girls and I used the FG Irresistable mods Irresistable spell on her to make her a lover. It's all perfectly compatible with each other and works perfectly. FG inserts custom sexualized dialogue using vanilla voices into those NPCs it's working on and shice she uses a vanilla voice it fits seemlessly. The FG stuff isn't automatic unless you use the FG Irrestible mod, adds a spell that when cast on an NPC it autocompletes the FG seduction process, basically a mind control alternative to the standard seduction process.
I'm playing a wizard character with an interest in creating a big harem, so the more, the merrier. XD
EDIT: Ah, right, the forums are down, never mind on that PM.
There is No Umbra - Chapter III https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrimspecialedition/mods/89089 (Has independent romance will become your lover/spouse of sorts, totally separate from and blind to vanilla marriage).
Recorder https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrimspecialedition/mods/4718 (You'll need to not be in the married faction to initiate her romance so either use the console command or my patch to simplify things. If you use my patch you can romance her if already married but if you want to get a vanilla wife after romancing her then you'll have to use the console command anyway since Recorder's romance puts you in the married faction.)
Seductress Faye https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrimspecialedition/mods/20185 (You pretty much have no choice but to become her lover but she won't marry you so you'll be stuck with a horny vampire constantly trying to sleep with you and any NPCs you've seduced with the Flower Girls mod.)
Viconia DeVir https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrimspecialedition/mods/40282 (She's got her own romance totally separate from and blind to vanilla marriage. She looks like ass by default so I use Proteus mod's NPC module to assign her a different face preset, specifically this one but you do you https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrimspecialedition/mods/80985.
Serana Dialogue Add-On https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrimspecialedition/mods/32161 (Has vanilla independent romance and can become your lover and then your wife. The lover bit can be done even if you're vanilla married but I don't believe you can marry her if you are. She's a lot like Lyssia in that she's got these two different stages intimate relationship you can have. If you do marry her she should count as a vanilla wife but you won't have a vanilla wedding ceremony, just some dialogue and it skips the ceremony due to Serana not being down with Mara for some reason.)
Improved Follower Dialogue - Lydia https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrimspecialedition/mods/38473?tab=posts (Has romance but I'm not sure how independent from vanilla marriage it is.)
Vanilla Follower Expansion - Illia (VFE) https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrimspecialedition/mods/92333 (Independent romance of a sort.
You basically become a sexual partner to her immediately and she's kind of a freak. Plays very well with Flower Girls mod for animations and dialogue. No romance or marriage added but she's still a horney witch follower who's down to get freaky with you.
Livia Salvian Revamped https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrimspecialedition/mods/33318 (Has her own romance but uses vanilla marriage at the end of it. Use my marriage blind/dark brotherhood patch if you do her romance post getting vanilla married (or console command remove yourself from the faction).
These and the ones you mentioned are what I'm currently playing with and using for my harem. Additionally, I use Flower Girls, Amorous Adventures Plus, Flower Girls - Irresistable, Nethers Follower Framework, Unique Zombie Follower - Trish https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrimspecialedition/mods/37425, ColdSun's Pantheon - Legends - Vayne - The Dunmer Spy https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrimspecialedition/mods/77924. There are several other custom voiced and romancable followers from ColdSun so take a peak.
FYI, removing yourself from the married faction whenever you get put into it (player.removefac C6472) is the equivalent of taking off your wedding ring so the new chick your trying to seduce can't tell you're married when they check. My patches just make it so they never bother to check. Regardless, any follower that uses vanilla marriage at the temple of Mara will not really become your wife if you've already got one, since you can only have one vanilla wife at a time. You can propose to a second woman if you've removed yourself from the faction and reset the vanilla marriage quest (resetquest 74793 followed by setstage 74793 10) and this will allow you to go through the whole wedding ceremony with the new person, but once you've exchanged rings they'll just go back to being a regular follower again. You'd have to reset the 'RelationshipMarriageFIN' quest (resetquest 21382) beforehand for them to become your actual vanilla wife. Doing this though will divorce your current vanilla wife and return them to being a regular follower/NPC. What I do to sort of get around this is pick one custom follower who uses vanilla marriage to be my vanilla wife (Remiel, Lyssia, Serana) and marry them first, then go through the whole wedding ceremony with the later spouses (vanilla ones like Ysolda or custom like Livia) and then use the NFF Elope feature to "elope" with them after the ceremony is done. This gives them some of the features of a vanilla spouse and allows you to engage in intimate actions with them (if you've got Flower Girls or other compatible mod like it).
So those commands (after the marriage) will not stop one's first Mara-temple wife from being and acting as one's wife?
And the commands will allow one to progress to the Mara-temple wedding with another follower who weds that way?
But after that ceremony, for the new 'bride' it will be as though that ceremony never happened? (Weird...)
Yet the gal from the first Mara-temple marriage will still be and act as one's wife?
"and then use the NFF Elope feature to 'elope' with them after the ceremony is done. This gives them some of the features of a vanilla spouse"
Elope with her _after_ having a Mara-temple ceremony with her? That is unintuitive, grin.
Is the purpose of doing the Mara-temple ceremony with her (instead of, say, going straight to eloping?) purely because of its role-playing value, or does it also have some part in making the mechanics work out?
Is the eloping only viable for the custom NPCs who are safe to have in NFF? So, not Recorder, Remi,...
"and allows you to engage in intimate actions with them (if you've got Flower Girls or other compatible mod like it)."
This wouldn't break the custom follower? And does FG connect with the follower/elopee automatically, or are there other steps needed?
"What I do... is pick one custom follower who uses vanilla marriage to be my vanilla wife (Remiel, Lyssia, Serana) and marry them first, then go through the whole wedding ceremony with the later spouses (vanilla ones like Ysolda or custom like Livia)"
What are the qualifications meant by "custom like Livia"? I.e., which custom followers can this method work with?
Q: "So those commands (after the marriage) will not stop one's first Mara-temple wife from being and acting as one's wife?
And the commands will allow one to progress to the Mara-temple wedding with another follower who weds that way?
But after that ceremony, for the new 'bride' it will be as though that ceremony never happened? (Weird...)
Yet the gal from the first Mara-temple marriage will still be and act as one's wife?
A: The command player.removefac C6472 will make you appear single to other followers, vanilla or mod added, allowing you to access any romantic or marriage related stuff they have that is otherwise normally restricted to only non-married player characters. Not all mod followers do this faction check, it's something the author has to deliberately put in so it's only going to be there if they specifically want these things to be inaccessable to a married player. The commands resetquest 74793 followed by setstage 74793 10 resets the vanilla marriage quest, allowing you to once again put on an amulet of Mara, propose marriage to your desired follower, and go through the full temple of Mara wedding ceremony (mod followers often have more s#*! you have to do before any marraige options become available though, such as personal quests or custom affinity systems, vanilla followers just need you to talk to them while 1) not being in the married faction and 2) while wearing an amulet of Mara after resetting the quest). Together, the three console commands I gave above are what you need to romance, propose to, and go through the temple of Mara marriage ceremony multiple times with multiple followers. These commands will do NOTHING to your original vanilla spouse (whether it's a vanilla NPC or mod follower).
If you WANT to completely swap you vanilla wife for another one then you must ALSO us the console command resetquest 21382. That command resets the 'RelationshipMarriageFIN' quest, which is something that is executed automatically when you complete the marriage ceremony. It's this that makes the particular follower you official vanilla spouse and it can only apply to a single follower at a time. If you use the original three console commands I mentioned then you can take a second, and many more afterwards, follower through the entire romance/marrige process all the way until the end of the marriage ceremony, but when 'RelationshipMarriageFIN' tries to execute again it will simply not work, and the new spouse will go right back to being a regular (non-spouse) follower again, as if the whole marriage ceremony never happened. Using that fourth console command to reset this will allow you to make them a full on spouse, at the cost of effectively divorcing and resetting your relationship with your previous vanilla spouse, making it like you were never married to them at all.
Q: "Is the purpose of doing the Mara-temple ceremony with her (instead of, say, going straight to eloping?) purely because of its role-playing value, or does it also have some part in making the mechanics work out?
A: Yes, this would entirely be for role play purposes. I personally like taking the prospective spouse to the temple and having a ceremony, even if it doesn't actually result in them becoming a wife. For mod followers this allows you to hear any custom dialogue they have during the wedding ceremony itself. For vanilla followers who use the same recycled voice lines as every other vanilla follower there would be less incentive to bother, but for custom voiced followers with custom dialogue you shoud take the time to get the most out of them.
The elope function of NFF can be used (on NFF compatible followers) without doing all the other quest resetting s#*! I've described, you just won't get any custom romance/marriage dialogue that mod followers would come with, just a generic set of dialogue provided by NFF to which their replies will be silent/non-voiced. Using the NFF elope feature also allows you to basically bypass the romance quest progression of comaptible custom followers by how it inserts a second, alternative, path to getting them into your characters bed, and that's immersion breaking as hell, at least to me. That's why I like to use it AFTER completing their own custom romance quests and after hearing all their custom romance and marriage/marriage ceremony related dialogue. But that's just me man, role play, you do you.
Q: Is the eloping only viable for the custom NPCs who are safe to have in NFF? So, not Recorder, Remi,...
A: I'm afraid so. Same with Flower Girls seduction and the Flower Girls Irresistible spells, they can seriously break the AI of mod followers with their own custom AI and follower frameworks. So no Remi, Lyssia, Aviendha, Sofia, Daegon, and many others unfortunately. Make sure you read their mod pages to see if their creators specify compatibility with NFF. You can however limit the features of NFF that ARE implemented on a follower you import into the framework, making it compatible and minimizing risk by disabling NFF functions that the follower already has it's own custom versions of (ex: Aurlyn Dawnstone can be made compatible this way), but generally you should stick with what the mod author tells you about their mod's compatibility.
Q: This wouldn't break the custom follower? And does FG connect with the follower/elopee automatically, or are there other steps needed?
A: It can, it entirely depends on the follower. Vanilla followers are perfectly compatible with either FG or NFF. Custom followers might or might not be compatible with either FG or NFF, read the mods description carefully or check through the posts/forums for info on specific interactions before you try using these on a mod follower. FG inserts dialogue options that you can simply ignore (start seduction and end seduction lines basically), otherwise it doesn't do automatically do anything and won't cause problems with even custom followers, so long as you don't activate the seduction options on one of them. FG doesn't directly connect with NFF or it's elope feature at all. They basically serve the same purpose and do the same thing thoguh, so you wouldn't want to use both on the same character (i.e. don't seduce a character with FG and then elope with them with NFF).
Q: What are the qualifications meant by "custom like Livia"? I.e., which custom followers can this method work with?
A: Custom as in mod followers that have custom voices and dialogue but which still use the vanilla marriage system and would count as a vanilla spouse. The Livia Salvian follower is custom voiced and has custom dialogue for her romance and marriage but still uses the vanilla marriage ceremony, faction, functions, and counts as a vanilla spouse (of which you can only have one). She also operates on the vanilla follower framework, meaning she doesn't use a custom framework made by the mod author, and therefore she is compatible with both NFF and Flower Girls. I would personally proceed through all her custom quests until her dialogue based romance is completed, propose to her, and go through the marriage ceremony, hearing and experiencing all the custom voiced diaolgue that comes with it. I don't however wan't her to be my singular "real" vanilla spouse when there are better followers out there to put in that role (Remi or Serana). So, after going through the motions and hearing all her custom dialogue I'd end up hitting hitting the dead end that is the already completed 'RelationshipMarriageFIN' quest, completed when I married the desired vanilla spouse (Remi or Serana), and Livia would go right back to being just a regualy follower again. Problem is I don't want her as just a regular follower, I want her as part of my harem of waifus, otherwise I wouldn't have bother going thorugh her romance quests/marriage in the first place. So, I'd then use either NFF or FG to turn her into a spouse or lover through other means. Again, this is purely for role play purposes.
romance? Just asking since I’m pretty green at this.
No, adding a condition requiring being married to Serana would not help the romance to start.
Hi Nappa... is there any chance this patch could be behind the bug I now have whereby I cannot dismiss Lyssia?
NVM, this seemed a problem with the core mod, fixed in the 1.6 update.The only problem I came across is if you jump in to marriage with someone who is a vanilla follower, or plugged in to the vanilla marriage, before you ever Romance her, then that pathways seems to be inaccessible.
Sad really.... NO follower you expect you pick them over any other lol.... NONE are that good, not even Vilja, and she pips SDA and Remiel, who are her closest competition in terms of complete, deep, immersive, playthrough long, followers.
Being able to marry Serana (SDA) and then still being able to initiate romance with/propose to Remiel wasn't possible the last time I looked into Serana SDA since she put you into the PlayerMarriedFaction once you and her became a married couple. This would lock you out of any other vanilla marriages, including Remiel's since her romance/marriage dialogue has you NOT being in that faction as one of it's conditions for that dialogue to appear. I've made a patch to remove that condition from Remiel (awaiting approval to post) so that you would be able to propose to her while already married to Serana or someone else. However, if you've been able to do it without such a patch then the only explanation I can think of is if the author of SDA himself has altered the mod so that marrying her doesn't automatically add your character to the married faction. I haven't looked into SDA's plugin since like version 2 and a lot has been added to it/changed since then. Maybe the author finally accepted that people didn't want to be stuck with monogamy. I'll look into it some later today/tomorrow.
"The only problem I came across is if you jump in to marriage with someone who is a vanilla follower, or plugged in to the vanilla marriage, before you ever Romance her, then that pathways seems to be inaccessible." Yeah, that's a pretty easy adjustment and is what these marriage blind patches are meant to resolve, by removing the PlayerMarriedFaction=0 conditions from the romance/marriage related dialogue. This makes that dialogue accessable regardless of you already having a vanilla spouse as the follower simply no longer knows nor cares about it.
I accidently married her this time, whilst taking Auri to the placer where the moths and draw knife are, as part of HER quest... because SDA Serana and Auri have banter and Serana has a few lines she speaks to you about Auri. So I figured since she was part of my crew, there with me and Auri, she would just speak about her... but I got some options I had not seen before... and that turns out to be that we're now married. Ooops.
I will B PO'd 2TMax! if I lose my relationship with her now, if I continue on and marry Remi!!!!
I am terrified now!!!! I am literally at the point where my only choice to stop Remi's awkward flirting... and cleaning crap off my face... is marry her loool.
Man, if that IS correct, then YES, SDA NEEDS your magic more than any other follower ROTFLMFAO!!!!!
To be honest, they had to KNOW everyone was going to want to marry her, married already or not, 'in love' with another companion or not... and just made her able to be married like Vilja or Sofia, as wholly custom, independent waifu. These follower authors.. they eff with us so bloody bad, its criminal I say :p
This could be a good chance to test it out though if you're up for it. She might have been cool with you vanilla marrying someone else while you and her were just friends with benefits but if you're now married to her it would be interesting to confirm what happens if you try vanilla marrying someone else (like Remiel, Lyssia, or even some vanilla NPC like Ysolda) or just usimg the console to remove yourself from the married faction. Just to see if/how it affects her and your relationship with her. Like I've said for people using my patch to do Lyssia's marriage path when they're already vanilla married, they'll likely get stuck and have to use the console to leave the married faction before the new marriage can happen, and I don't know for sure how that will affect your existing spouse, especially if they're a custom follower (since I'm still under the impression that SDA will detect your faction exit and she'll divorce you). Otherwise the best outcome I would hope for is that they just continue to treat you as their spouse, with all the same dialogue, and just losing the unique vanilla suppose functions since they should switch over to the new wife. But that's all just speciation on my part.
"I am literally at the point where my only choice to stop Remi's awkward flirting... and cleaning crap off my face... is marry her loool." As far as I can tell from looking into the plugin Remi's flirting dialogue should stop on it's own once you've gotten her regard for you high enough to unlock her marriage dialogue. I asked Maple about this and questioned Remi getting through all her flirt dialogue only to then halt all relationship progress, with no more dialogue to suggest any romantic interest exists, unless you propose to her. It seemed awkward to me that you would go from flirting one minute to acting like a regular follower with no indication of romantic interest the next minute. Maple didn't correct me and just expressed that she didn't go into so much detail as to add dialogue representing that your relationship with her is past the flirting stage but not yet in the marriage stage (for those already married or who want to marry someone else).
I guess I have no choice, make a clean save, propose to Remi, see what happens.
These people, they must have no taste in art of culture, how can you have a fantasy world, without a waifu harem!!!!
The coolest characters in all the greatest Fantasy stories, as well as all the best Isekaii Fantasy Anime, ALWAYS have a Harem... and what, are we not that cool? We are the 'Dragonborn'.... how effing epic is THAT?
We absolutely DESERVE .....Harem life....but they go right ahead and think their follower is somehow someone special enough to deserve our sole adoration? Pfftt :P
God Bless Emma, Waribiki, DjJohnJarvis, may the ground shake before them as they walk, for their foresight and understanding that their creations were but one piece of the Waifu Harem puzzle.
Oh no... now I also need to see what happens when I add Mirai to the mix!!!!! I THINK she at least, DOES have an ABSOLUTE custom, faction flag free, marriage, just like Vilja!.... or so I hope.
My damn harem is dwindling with every passing moment!!!! :p
I still have the prompt to propose to her whilst wearing an amulet of Mara in my journal.... but.... I cannot propose, there is just no option.
Serana stole my slot, it seems.
I had her as lover, before, and Remi as my wife..... and that was what I was angling for. I think the window to do it, is... narrow... get Serana to begin 'intimacy'.... before 'Its finally over" is a dialogue option post DG completion..... THEN once she is a lover..... but NOT a wife.... go with a wife. I know I did it before, I know I got no dialogue about breaking her heart.
I am miffed AF though, a non-vanilla, custom marriage, which you can easily accidently trigger btw... that still screws you out of your vanilla marriage slot?
Eff it... after my experiences with the people behind Remi, and my experience with SDA, I am deleting one, and lobotomizing the other. Time for a new game sans Remi, and with SDA removed.
I will go find Waifus who know the rules are of Harrem Life :p
So I look in my Skyrim/Data/...and find... SDA or Remiel? What is the file name I am looking for then? I will give this a try, because I dont want to leave Remi in the basement of mod house I have in the middle of nowhere, if I can help it... but her pointed 'Friend' lines, are irking me to tears, lol.... it's like... she KNOWS I am married... and wont marry me now.... but also... is upset I am not trying to marry her! Feels Passive/Aggressive AF bwhahahahaha, that's a little TOO much realism and immersion for me :p
I suck SO badly at anything like doing such fixes, but if it means I can keep Remi around, and lose the silly mission in my journal, then I will bite the bullet.