Likely because her confidence settings are on cowardly in the base game, you can edit this with Xedit to set her confidence to your desired outcome, even if you use EFF or NFF to change it, it does not persist through game exit so you would need to change her each time you load in. Best to do this in Xedit, it is a very simple tweak, if you are using an overhaul copy that record as override into, choose a new file, ESPESL aka ESPFE is best for such simple edits, scroll down to the confidence settings and select edit, for an idea of what to put in look at an NPC you know fights. Only takes a few moments.
Nether's Follower Framework (NFF) allows you to change her disposition from cowardly to whatever you want. Over time, it also provides growth from a cowardly nature to a stronger one, like "Brave," etc. You can also edit her stats if you want her to learn spells and be more of a support healer while hubby is bashing skulls. xEdit is still the best choice to do this, but NFF allows convenient in-game editing and saves your profile choices between saved games with FISS.
Does this conflict with mods that make formerly non-marriable characters marriable? 'Cause I use the Marriable Follower Ralof mod on one of my files, but I'd love to use this for some others- will it work?
Very nifty mod! Unfortunately, the same script is overwritten by Animated Wedding Scene, and probably also by Marriage Mod. So a merged version will probably be necessary for people using those mods.
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maybe NFF or other follower mods may help you with that