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Cave Troll (Truth Troll):
Cave Trolls live in mansions, but go to caves on weekends to keep up appearances.
Trolls will gladly help anyone suffering from insomnia. They can make you sleep forever.
Trolls can help erase any debts, but they charge an arm and a leg.
Trolls are compassionate and can sense loneliness. They only want to help you reach the inevitable coldness of the void.
Cyrodiil was named after Raymond Cryodill, a pickle and ice enthusiast who couldn't spell.
Skyrim isn't cold because it's so far north; it's cold because it's running out of wind.

Marrow Troll (Philosotroll)
If the Imga came from men, why are there still men?
A Troll's third eye can see in plaid.
Trolls developed a language far more intricate and powerful than Dovahzul, but destroyed all record of it out of respect.
Trolls discovered fire before any man or mer, but kept it a secret out of kindness.
The God of All Trolls created Mundus. This has caused a lot of controversy and is generally regarded as a bad move.
Copper circlets are named after a metal that looks like corundum but no one cares about.

Frost Troll (Conspiratroll)
Trolls were the first creatures to discover gold. It was previously thought to be worthless.
Masser and Secunda were formed when a teapot collided with Nirn in 1E42. Masser is the pot and Secunda is the lid.
Frost Giants are related to Trolls. Obviously.
Frost Trolls are covered with tasty sugar and invite anyone to have a taste.
Trolls are generally nice creatures. They like hugs. Long hugs. Warm hugs. Very warm hugs.
Alduin is known as the World-Eater. He devours the souls of the living, enjoys sweet rolls for dessert, and likes long walks on the beach.

Provinces (Miscetrollneous)
Skyrim is named after the fact that Nirn is flat. Just look at the horizon sometime. Flat.
Hammerfell was named when someone dropped a hammer on his companion's toe and claimed it just fell.
High Rock was named when an explorer saw a mountain for the first time.
Elsweyr is just a stupid name. Like, seriously? Is Cyrodiilic your first language?
The Summurset (Summerset? Sumurset?) Isles were named after a section in a very popular dishware store.
Orsinium was given to the Orcs to make them stop whining. It's named after something entitled and stupid, probably.
Black Marsh is an insensitive name. The least you could do is call it a wetland.
Valenwood is a corruption of "Failing Wood." The entire province is at risk of deforestation to make way for empty fields for staring contests.
Morrowind is the best Imperial province with the best legends. Cyrodiil and Skyrim simply cannot compare.