About this mod

Say hello to M.H.A.R.P.H.I.N. the mechanically morose metal companion whose just fun to be with. Completely standalone with a multitude of custom melancholy dialogue.

Permissions and credits
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"Try him out. Dip him in some ketchup and tell me he's not tasty". MMOxReview


Now a follower with a quest (or is it the other way around?)

Say hello to M.H.A.R.P.H.I.N. the mechanically morose counterpart. A standalone companion with a multitude of custom dialogue.  Join him on an  adventure to recover his memory and solve the riddle of The Relic.


Perhaps the question should be; what is Mharphin? Unfortunately, Not even he knows the answer to that question. His memory circuits are apparently a little rusty.. Is he a Dwemer Centurion? He certainly looks like one. But then again, looks aren't everything are they..


Over 1000 lines of custom mechanical melancholy  musings and moronic mutterings:

A rather intriguing quest, featuring; custom dungeons, puzzles and hours of entertainment, all wrapped up together by a fully voiced cast of characters.

Custom Armour

Custom Spells

Custom Music & SFX

More Easter Eggs than you can shake a stick at.


Mharphin still comes equipped with all of his previous features:

Relaxation mode: Tune in with him to hear a few rather strange and bizarre transmissions. Is it music or something else?

Location Analysis. Mharphin may offer the odd insight about your current location.

Diagnostic mode: Mharphin will gladly tell you how he's feeling... So it's best not to ask.

However, as well as extra dialogue for the above features, this update also includes the following functions:

Shut up Mharphin: Toggle Mharphin's idle dialogue off or on.

Not now Mharphin!
: as above, Toggle Mharphin's combat dialogue. 

Too Much Magic: Toggle his magic ability

Combat Reboot: This one is rather special. With this option enabled, mharphin will quickly reboot when he reaches bleed out state (completely resolves his previous combat issues whereby he would stop fighting occasionally).

System Reboot: This won't be available until you've completed the quest. You'll understand why.

All the above abilities will not unlock until you chat with him about his funny voices. However, that conversation is unlocked by a random idle... so there you go. Either I'm rather mean or I'm just forcing you to hang out with Mharphin and listen to him.

Infrequently asked questions.

What is this, a quest or a follower?

Actually I'm not entirely sure. It's what I like to call a "Sidequal". Events that happen here will link directly to events that happen during my forthcoming Carry On Skyrim main quest (Azura's Folly).

Is it Lore Friendly?

Well that depends upon you. Personally, I like to think of him as "Lore-bending".

Mharphin stops fighting!

Yes. Not my fault. Try out any other enemy NPC who has been turned in to a follower, and you'll see the same result. It's something hard coded I think. However, to counteract this, you can use the Combat Reboot mentioned above or the Unique spell that's provided when you start the quest. Or you can live with it and use him as a tank to distract your enemies whilst you pillage your foes.

Mharphin talks soooo slow

Tough. That's the way he is. Don't make him feel worse about it.

Hey, I've made it to a certain place and I can't bring my wagon load of followers with me!

That is correct. This quest was designed as a 1 to 1 journey of discovery between you and Mharphin. At a certain point in the quest, you will be alone. It's all about dramatic purpose. It is of course your call if you don't wish to experience it the way I intended.

Is Mharphin compatible with other Mods?

 Mharphin is completely standalone from the vanilla game, so there really shouldn't be any compatibility issues... With exception to any mod that alters follower functionality. If so, its best to load him below any such mod.

Hey! Mharphin won't climb some stairs! 

Mharphin is a centurion! Although I have reduced his size somewhat, he still may struggle accessing the odd area.

SFX Levels!  

With the help of Caithe I have tweaked Mharphin's SFX levels so that his dialogue is audible enough. However, to enjoy this Mod fully, I recommend that you turn down your master SFX level a few notches and enable subtitles. Note: For this mod I have altered 1 vanilla sound descriptor; The Centurion scan. I did this in an effort to reduce the volume which was frankly too loud.


NOTE: You will need to Save and Reload to make him talk!

As usual, Mharphin is located at the base of the Shrine of Azura. The quest itself will become accessible once you've spoken to Mharphin about where he comes from. After that, simply head to Whiterun (where else?) And let the roller coaster ride begin.

Tips and Tricks

Mharphin is laced with various scenes and conditional content. To enjoy this mod fully, I recommend the following:

Take your time: There are certain levels that lead to secret areas. Keep your eyes peeled for clues.
Don't TCL. A lot of this quest and scenes are controlled via invisible trigger boxes. If you TCL, the boxes won't trigger!
Sit back and enjoy: Stealth is your friend. Some scenes will fire when you first enter an area, but if you go rushing in to an area, the chances are that you may miss a scene or a clue completely.


If installing for the first time, simply use your favourite mod Installer and grab yourself a pan galactic gargle blaster, sit back and let it do it's magic.

If updating from 1.3 or below, you will need to make a clean install.
1.Simply remove any gear you've given to Mharphin,
2.dismiss him
3. move to another cell and save
4. Close game
5. Uninstall Mharphin
6. Reload save and save again
7. Close game again and install Mharphin V2
8. Head over to the shrine of Azura and let the fun begin (note: you may need to quick save and reload to get him to talk).


What?! Why?


Inspired by Douglas Adams's paranoid Android, Mharphin is yet another npc from the Carry On Skyrim W.I.P. Quest. This is not that quest!
This update has taken over a year to complete, and I am relieved that I can finally present it to you for your amusement. It's my baby, so please be gentle with it. Seriously, just like Ben, I always had intentions to expand the original mod with a quest, and when the idea finally formed, I knew it was going to be a huge learning curve for me. Gads, I wasn't wrong.

But thankfully I had a lot of help from my A.R.S.E. I am of course referring to the Association of Radical Skyrim Engineers. A Huge and possibly over enthusiastic hug to them all. Additionally, thanks to all my fellow authors on the nexus forums. There would be far too many to name, but hopefully they know who they are. Thanks peeps.

Credits & Thanks

I seriously couldn't have made this without the assets or the help of the people listed here. Please give credit where credit is due and check out some of their amazing work.

An excessively large thank you goes to Arron Dominion for creating the entire script for this Relaxation ability. Note: All music is either my own, public domain or midi renditions of appropriately odd classics.

RandomNumbers for allowing me to use one his fantastic Frying Pan Weapons

Lord Haun for the brilliant Magica Saber weapons

Halofarm For Aether Suite Assets (I couldn't have achieved this without that Sofa)

Stroti and Tamira for their excellent resource packs

Elianora for creating Sally for me 

DDProductions83 for helping me to comprehend Custom Modelling & Scripting (he da man!)

Mattiewagg for graciously helping me with scripting

Di0nysys & BigBizKit for humouring and supporting me through the entire process

 Caithe for help with adjusting Mharphin's footstep audio level.

Mofakin &  Matthiaswagg for their original custom follower tutorial.

Barbas the dog & Kris Takahashi for Rude Follower tutorial & Script


This mod features roughly around 1600 lines of dialogue, give or take the odd Groan.  A big thank you to my guest cast who helped to make Mharphins world a little more diverse. 

Lord Carmichael: Narrator /Pirate Chef/Master Builder 
Mattiewagg: The Doctor 
8bitonion : Dave
DDProductions83 : D:83 & D.A.R.E.N  (Although his involvement was completely unwitting. It was my strange way of saying thank you)

Future updates

 As always, your suggestions and bug reports are always welcome, but other than the odd tweak here and there, it's time for me to turn my full attention to the Full Carry On Skyrim Quest.


Big thanks to MxR, 8BitOnion & 5poiler for their youtube videos.


Check out additional contributions by fellow Modders

M.H.A.R.P.H.I.N. Skin retexture by GDelforge

M.H.A.R.P.H.I.N. Spanish Translation by Javier992013


Carry On Skyrim: Another Free Follower
Carry On Skyrim: Professor Benjamin Doon


It's always nice to receive kind words or an endorsement and it's equally nice to receive donations. However, none of these are expected or demanded, as I do what I do for my own reasons.

But all the same, if you still feel like buying me a coffee (with perhaps a sweet roll on the side) to show your thanks, I am more than happy to accept your generosity.

You can either use the Donate button located at the top right of this page, or you can use the direct link below.