Skyrim
Feed the Heart

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Kayol

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23 comments

  1. jumarbye
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    Congrats on your MA and grades! Well done Poor Galla, she doesn't get a grade, a diploma or an pat on the back.
    Once you get used to free time, the mundane of everyday work may seem a little better, knowing you have that pocket of time all to yourself to look forward to.

    I loved your description of youthful emoting as a summer storm juxtaposed with Alerik's autumnal mellowness. Very amusing - and very true! And the draugr - let them be evil, they're in their own home after all! - their part in the story was so funny, and Galla's emotions about killing them reminded me of my youthful relatives

    Great story, well illustrated


    1. Kayol
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      Thank you! Got my diploma yesterday - now I truly feel this chapter of my life is over.
      Galla may have not received any of those, but at least she got some experience, didn't she? I think that counts I'm really happy she reminded you of the younger relatives of yours - she is supposed to be your typical teenager in many ways, so I'm glad that reads.

      Thank you again!
  2. Xorp
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    Congrats on getting an A

    Going to work everyday isn't so bad, you just sometimes get piles of notifications when you don't have time Hope you can overcome your bad thoughts....... everyone says people should always be happy and such...... nah that's a lie! But it still feels better when you do

    They were at home! They could act as evil by nature as they liked. Ancient dungeons are perfect for that, nobody goes there anyway. You can just walk around being evil all day long, no harm done



    Ohhh and dogs are the best pets
    1. Kayol
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      Thank you!

      Yep, I got pretty used to that after working on a schedule for about a year or so. Notifications, be it on Nexus or anywhere else, have been my ultimate nemesis lately (I don't have time to check them!). But hey, I'll manage eventually!
  3. wolfgrimdark
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    Congrats on the MA and nice grade. It is a big achievement regardless of how you look at it. Course there is now the adjustment. I used to think I would be a perpetual student - that it would be a great life. For a long time I almost was - always taking courses. But eventually work became interesting, and demanding, enough I had to focus on it all the time. Now that I want to get back into studies I find it almost impossible to do so - not just because of work but because I don't have as much motivation. Plus the simple fact that going back to school, while working full time, means giving up most of my free time .. which then ties into motivation. Unless you have motivation, either internal or external, good or bad, things won't happen.

    Anyhow a lot depends on work and how you approach it as a lot of it is one's mental state and view. Regardless I hope you adjust and find a way to deal with things.I also find writing, among other things, cheers me up. House cleaning oddly enough does as well - when I have the energy - I think because it is both productive and shows immediate results versus those things whose results can be vague and long term to see.

    Enjoyed the story and images as well. Guess being a mage isn't all that she expected it be. But then one doesn't have to be a mage like everyone else either. She can find her own path to being a mage.
    1. Kayol
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      First of all, I hope you'll make the right decision when it comes to going back to academia and find the results of that decision satisfactory. Even though I got disenchanted when it comes to dabbling in scholarly life in general, I still believe higher education can be great if you have a mindset for it.

      I'm sure I'll adjust to this brand new state of mind in no time as I usually am quite functional during my relapses. The problem is that all my willpower goes to functioning like usual at work (a lot depends on my attitude as I work with important clients - and I'm always cheerful like a freaking puppy in the rain), so not much of that attitude is left for other sides of my life. As you said yourself, writing these silly little things kind of help.

      Yeah, she got quite a reality check in that dungeon, didn't she? Of course, you're right - there are more ways than one to be a mage. Or anything else, really.
      Thanks again for commenting!
    2. wolfgrimdark
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      Oh I value education a great deal - have worked in higher education for the last 26 years. I work at UNH as both the IT person for the Graduate College and their Admissions Supervisor/Director. I like to think my job at least helps people get an education (although these days it feels like making money is more important then providing a good education but that is another topic). I at least have my BA in psychology and another 20 odd courses I have taken over the years that don't really count towards anything other than broadening my mind :p Some day perhaps but not right now.

      When it comes to life meaning I go along two lines. One that life itself is all the meaning needed. Existence itself is the purpose and meaning. Very Buddhist view point I think (if I understand some of the tenants of Buddhism). The second goes off into more lalala land but one I like to think about. The universe (singular or plural) is one massive entity and life are all its little "bots" that it sends out to learn things. Each living thing learns things - from simple to very complex - and when it dies it returns that knowledge to the overall "mind" that is the universe.

      Course being human we always have to ask - why? to what end? What comes first? What comes after? In a neverending stream of questions. That I don't know. But I sometimes feel life is meant simply to be lived and experience things - whether its spent local and at home or traveling the world. We all have our part to play as a sponge to soak up experience so it can be returned to the universal pool/awareness. I suppose some of my Jungian psychology background is showing there as well.

      Meh rambling :)
    3. Kayol
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      So you're one of them!

      Seriously though, no wonder you have problems with getting back into studies - I can't imagine your job leaves you with a lot of time to spare. Back here, at UĊš, we didn't really have a fixed position for admissions manager, at least not in my department. Each year, a person temporarily designated for that job was very quickly turning manic (at least that's how I remember them, mind you - and my memories are kind of unreliable at the moment). So kudos to you for even considering becoming a student again.
      I envy you the opportunities of taking different courses, by the way. We had to stick to the designated program, with one or two available additional modules per year. It was quite shocking to me when I realised how stale the program was - there were some tutors who still believed Judith Butler to be this brand-new, fresh scandalmonger.

      Your rambling is never "meh," come on!
  4. BlackMaid
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    First I want to congratulate to your MA, this is a milestone for you and I'm glad you have mastered this
    I really like how you describe the hard way of a hungry for knowledge apprentice to someone who got the highest blessings of his subject. How the stormy youth is goining on to experience that truisms are true ... masterly writing, full of lively pictures and really a pleasure to read
    I enjoyed it as always . Thanks for sharing it and I'm expecting your next works
    1. Kayol
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      Thank you! I'm very relieved that the defence preparations, and all the sheananigans connected to it, are finally over. It was quite a crazy ride, let me tell you...

      I'm very happy you liked this part. There were moments when I identified with Galla a bit when it comes to being disillusioned with what we considered our passion, so I'm glad the nasty bitterness did not shine through after all
    2. BlackMaid
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      It was clear to me that you used your own experiences to describe the emotions of Galla
  5. Kamikazekossori
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    I very much liked your words about mages, that great power they can hold and the vast knowledge waiting to be tapped into and the burden of using that power responsibly, to not create some disaster through even a small mistake, it is a dangerous path unless one is very careful. I liked they touch of humor in which familiar is best for a mage, the loyal dog always standing at one's side through thick and thin, very different from the somewhat smug cat. The other mages do hold back most of the perils that come with being a student of magic, like being stuck in the middle of guild politics and plays for power, if they did reveal them few would actually choose to be apprentices. That conversation between Galla and Alerik was endearing, her speaking of the very jaded mages that seem blind to the oddities and wonders of magic, him poking a little fun at her and his final words which were quite true indeed. Congrats on getting your MA and doing so well on it, though I had no doubt that you would with the though you put into things, Kayol
    1. Kayol
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      Thank you! I wasn't sure I would manage to finish the thesis up until the very deadline, but somehow I did. It was quite a relief.

      It was high time for Alerik to loosen up a little bit and I thought that setting him as that older, wiser figure in comparison to Galla's over-expressive nature would work quite well. I'm glad you liked it!

      Also, it's always nice to read your interpretation of my (and other people's) stories, it's always very insightful.
      Thank you again for commenting!
  6. lesjones
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    Congratulations on getting your MA, although I am not certain as to why such an achievement should bring on a depressive state of mind..perhaps it might alleviate that state if you remember there's a whole world of people out there who, for various reasons, will never have the opportunity to undertake the pursuit of knowledge for knowledge sake.

    Consider yourself...blessed...in the hard work you have undertaken, in your self-discipline and sacrifice to achieve it, and never equate duty with burden, because that road leads to resentment.

    As to this set, the writing is superb, as are the images.

    And I smiled at "one shard short of a soul gem".
    1. Kayol
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      Depression is stupid like that - basically anything can trigger a relapse (at least in my case, I cannot generalise). Stress, fear, what have you, and bam! Hello, empty void inside Kayol's little brain, it's been a while.
      I am absolutely aware of my privilege and I don't think I could ever repay all the people who made it possible for me to work on my diplomas. Oh, and I totally agree about that duty/burden disunion - they can never become synonymous

      Thank you for commenting!
  7. Lee5Lee
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    Congratulations on your MA and A, this is awesome! I remember feeling the same after graduation, but actually my diplomas still keep fetching small perks here and there, and the things I learned (also that I learned how to research things right) helps me immeasurably. Hope you'll feel better soon and get rid of the pesky depression, because there are so many good ways to spend free time ^_^

    I love how the temp of story changed ^_^ Although gameplay always pushes the main chars to push forward, but for good roleplays these pauses are like chilling in hot springs on vacation. Nice point of view from Galla too, reminds me of the fact that all these locks on crypts was made to keep draugrs in, not to keep adventurers out ))
    1. Kayol
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      Thanks! The diploma can be quite useful, indeed, so I'll make sure to keep that in mind and not bash the University too much while talking about it with other people

      I always liked the more quiet moments in any story in general, the ones when characters get a bit more introspective and allow us to learn something about them. Glad you liked this slower part!
  8. ista3
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    Congratulations on getting your grades, awesome written and illustrated chapter as always and hope you overcome your demon, work, home and Skyrim it's the same for me.
    1. Kayol
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      Thank you, hon! And I wish you all the best as well.
  9. Klaxoid
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    "“... and then I went to the Archmage. Told him about that... thing, whatever it was. And that was it. No reward, no acknowledgement. No great job, Galla, we wouldn't be able to do this without you, how about you become my personal apprentice, or, holy Divines, how did you manage to crawl through that dungeon all by yourself, that is no small feat, let me proclaim you an adept of... whatever. Not even a stupid thank you. He just... left! And told me to go to the library!”"

    This made me laugh so much. Thank you Kayol
    1. Kayol
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      Thank you, glad you found that part funny!
  10. Nino1979
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    Sorry, about your depression and congratulations on getting an A in college/university.Thank you for stories full of meaning and for beautiful music
    1. Kayol
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      Thank you for your lovely comment! And don't be sorry - I'm kind of a veteran when it comes to battling depression, so it's nothing particularly unusual. I'll be fine