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Freddy was born to a lumberjack and a radioactive beaver from outer spac. Pronounced "spass" , the 'e' is silent. He was a jovial and precious youth, blessed with keen mechanical aptitude and a natural didgereedoo prowess. Although shunned by his peers, critical and crowds of theater goers praised his moving pieces in all their monotone droning glory. As one columnist once wrote, "it's like he turned a Vuvuzela into ASMR. How even the hell did he do that?."
Though he was lauded for his musical endeavors, it was not the life for Freddy. For he longed to follow in the footsteps of his lifelong hero, Gerald the Ecclesiastic Bat-face. Gerald was not a bat, he just had the face of one. This inspired Freddy, because in spite of his bat face, Gerald was a wildly adored...