Skyrim Special Edition
0 of 0

File information

Last updated

Original upload

Created by

Roadhouse699 at Midnight

Uploaded by


Virus scan

Safe to use

About this mod

Replaces the texture for cages with the face of the only Cage that matters.

Permissions and credits
You know, when I was in 6th Grade, we had to read a bunch of the Greek Myths (minus the more graphic parts of when Zeus did Zeusy things) in English class. I remember there was one myth where there was this girl who was really good at weaving and got really arrogant about it and was like, "Yeah I'm better than Athena herself at this point." Then Athena showed up at her door like, "The fuck you say, bitch?!" and the girl was like, "No I swear I'm sure your better at weaving yarn than me!" and then Athena said, "We're gonna have a tapestry contest right now, or else I'll tell my dad that you won't have sex with him and he'll lightening-strike your house!"
So they had a weaving contest, the arrogant girl who's name I don't remember made some tapestry about a guy, a girl, a horse, and a sunset (typical) and Athena made a tapestry about Earth becoming shitty in the future and a guy building a machine so horrible he couldn't even bare to look at it while he worked.
After 2500 years, we've discovered what that machine was supposed to be. It's this fucking mod.

So, I originally got the idea for this when I was talking to a girl on a dating app who had "The weirdest gift I ever received..." as a prompt on her bio with the response, "A pillow with a full print of Nicolas Cage's face. It was horrifying." So my natural response to this was, "I want Nicolas Cage to host a game show where he asks people questions about movies he was in and if he gets them wrong, he puts them in a cage called the Nicolas Cage." Yeah... Julia, if you ever see this, I'm sorry. Okay, I'm only a little bit sorry. Anyway, you'd also have the option to forcibly resist being put in the Nicolas Cage, mostly because I wanna hear Nicolas Cage yell "I'M GONNA PUT YOU IN THE NICOLAS CAGE!" If they win they get an AK-47, a gold bar from inside Mount Rushmore, or the Declaration of Independence.

So yeah, all the cages in Skyrim are now Nicolas Cages. You have an option for two different pattern sizes, depending on whether you like your Nicolas Cages fine or coarse.

Q: You know you're gonna be tried in the Hague for this, right?

Q: Oh god, are you gonna do that for the whole FAQ?
A: Nah. To be totally honest, I don't really like Nicolas Cage's acting. Just listen to him talk about how great the AK-47 is in this clip. He literally has the most blank voice ever. If I got that as an audition from a voice actor for a quest mod, no way I'd take it unless I was running out of time I had to work on it. 

Q: You're not good enough to have the almighty Nicolas Cage voice act in one of your quest mods.
A: ...that is a fair statement. I don't think he's a good actor, but I think he's a great icon for high-functioning psychopaths.

Q: I am from Greece, and the actual story with that myth is [insert version not written by a rambling, quite possibly intoxicated American]. By the way, did you know that Greece stopped an Italian invasion in WWII? In Greece we are required by law to tell that to every foreigner we meet.
A: Yes, I'm aware I probably got most of the details wrong. And yes, I've seen the comment section on the music video for "Coat of Arms" by Sabaton.

Q: Wow, an American making fun of another country for bragging about winning a war. Ironic.
A: It's not so much that they brag about winning against Italy, it's just that Greece stopped multiple Persian invasions in the Classical Period and they talk about winning against 1940s Italy. You know, we Americans won against late 1800s Spain once. Jokes aside since I most certainly have an American bias, I've already made fun of Germany and Denmark in FAQs, I'm just moving on to the next country.

Q: Do you even remember what this mod is?
A: No.

Q: Was this at all inspired by Viva La Dirt League?
A: Only a little, but I tip my metaphorical hat to them.

That's all I have for this FAQ. For the people who stayed until the end, my dad advice for you today is that confidence is not the absence of insecurity, but rather a reaction to it. Odds are, there are always going to be things in life that you're insecure about, but it's how you deal with them that matters. You're going to have to make a lot of decisions that you're unsure about, but you have to be able to pull the trigger on them and understand that you can handle the consequences.
Thanks for sticking around, I appreciate you.