Joke #1 - Officers

Joke #2 - M.A.R.I.N.E. Marine Asses Ride In Navy Equipment

3 - A Marine and a navy seaman enter the bathroom and both start peeing in different urinals.  When they finish the seaman goes to wash his hands the the marine goes to walk out.  The seaman says "Hey jarhead, in the Navy they teach us to wash our hands after we take a leak."  The Marine replies "yeah?  Well in the Marine Corps they teach us not to piss on ourselves." and walks out.

4 - Why did the Navy switch to liquid soap?  Because it takes longer to pick up.

5 - God, up in heaven, is bored one day and looks down to find a Marine rowing across the ocean from America to Europe. 
The Marine is rowing like a madman with determination singing "1 2 3 4 United States Marine Corps!!!."  Chesty would be proud! 
God, being bored, decides to test this marine's resolve and removes his brain. He then looks down upon the marine to see him still singing and rowing strong.  
"1 2 3 4 United States Marine Corps!!!." 
So god figures this Marine like all Marines must have a lot of heart, so God removes his heart and takes a peak back down...
"1 2 3 4 United States Marine Corps!!!."
God is baffled.  He can't figure out why this Marine is able to still row and sing with such gusto.  As a last resort God decides to remove the Marines Pecker.  He can still hear the Marine singing so he looks down again....