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Shadowbane - Part 4

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20 comments

  1. aok
    aok
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    Wow...Hardcore. But better one should live than both die.
    Ah dear, you never make it easy for the reader. But always worth it.
  2. pangallosr
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    sniff............. oh what a great tale you have began. As I guessed would happen, the narrators tale comes to an end. But what a great sacrifice to give life to a new beginning
  3. Corfus
    Corfus
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    Great chapter, " I noticed sausages of intestines sliding between his fingers", that line made me squirm a bit lol, I cannot think of much worse thing that trying to hold your intestines in, mind I did the same to Sorine but didn't go to deep with the description. Well the narrator made a the ultimate Sacrfice for the best of the clan & look forward to seeing what becomes of them now
  4. Heaventhere
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    So sad, but true , what would you give to see your children survive even if they were not of his body, he had made them his children by the act of love, and with his last breathe gave them life as without her brother Liesi would have never been herself again if she survive the loss of both Alpha and brother. Selflessness on the part of the story teller but also to give back in those last moments of what only he had left. And what better way then to save Brana ......

    Amazing back story and so sad Awesome shots showing the stages , can see the emotion on their faces
    1. deleted1123719
      deleted1123719
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      Thanks Shelley. Glad you enjoyed it!
  5. wolfgrimdark
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    Great story and very dramatic. He was going to die anyhow so why waist his life? I didn't find this sad actually - well that he died I did I mean I saw nothing wrong what so ever with how he saved Brana. Two die or one die ... and there was no way to save the Dunmer narrator. I would rather see the twins together as well. Enjoyed this chapter very much, both images and story.
    1. deleted1123719
      deleted1123719
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      Thanks Jon. For some reason, the narrators death makes me think of the Old Orc you sometimes come across in skyrim looking for a good death. I'd say this qualifies! I really wanted to show the differences between this father and Klepstein as both will be instrumental in making the twins into who they become.
    2. wolfgrimdark
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      Aye they have a very different approach I think. Prefer Sera over Klepstien.

      On a side ramble never had an issue with werewolves eating hearts. How is that any worse then burning someone alive with fire or electrocuting them? Is it better than spilling their guts out with a sword? Hacking their skull into bits with a hammer? putting out an eye with an arrow?

      What about barbarian tribes that collect ears and bones? What about eating the hearts of bears, elk, wolves, and cats to get their symbolic energy? Besides the body is dead (most of the time lol) so its mute then anyhow.

      Anyhow really enjoyed all the stories on these two.
  6. Kamikazekossori
    Kamikazekossori
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    That stranger who had become like the parental figured they lacked in their childhood, that tough them of dunmer culture, really cared deeply for the twins, making sure Liesi tended to her brother even when he himself was mortally wounded, cringing as he struck her to get her moving. Shows that he considered his children that he sacrificed himself as he neared death to make sure the twins would have each other. You really brought out the emotions in that moment, the shock and the sorrow, that great love of the stranger. Wonderfully done, Jess
    1. deleted1123719
      deleted1123719
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      Thanks Alexi. Yes indeed he was the antithesis of their only other father figure, Klepstein. And he showed them in that last gesture exactly what a real parent is willing to do for their children. He may not have been blood kin to the twins but they most certainly had a place of prominence in his heart, and he theirs.
  7. AmadanBezerk
    AmadanBezerk
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    What a powerfully moving chapter....Their Alpha sacrificing himself in what could only be the most profound way to his beloved adopted 'Twins', in order to keep them together and alive....at least, for now....^^

    ....and now, "Karma" is about to pay a MOST UNfriendly visit to a certain pack of Vampires....and she's feeling very "b1#chy" indeed! (Yes, it's THAT certain 'time-of-the-month'....^^)

    Hindsight being 20-20, all three of them should have re-located their digs to a few new caves and other hideouts every now and then, like typical guerrillas usually do to avoid being tracked down, but the Gods must have decided that the old Narrator's time was up anyway....

    Endorsed.
    Warm and kind thanks and cheers, Jess!
    1. deleted1123719
      deleted1123719
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      Thanks hon! Yeah true, they probably should've kept moving about to avoid retribution. I think the narrator just got caught up and not really realised what he was stirring up by unleashing the twins the way he did. Sad that his silly mistakes and misguided love cost him his life.
  8. Liadys
    Liadys
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    So dramatic...but amazing story. Poor man was dieing but so was Brana...so in his last moment decided to not let things go to waste and let what he had left to live to save Brana. Would of been a bigger tragedy to split the twins I guess..but still for them to lose their strange "father" or Alpha...

    Loved this chapter and onto the next !
    1. deleted1123719
      deleted1123719
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      Thanks Lia! It was kinda sad but it also showed the twins the depths that a "good" father will go to to ensure their survival. Stark difference to their other father; Klepstein.
  9. wadelycan
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    Another wonderfully written piece. It would seem that the narrator's contacts were either traitors or they were found out and used against him. The vampires that performed this attack may have quite the strategic mind behind them. He showed great fortitude as well to take command as the Alpha so that Liesi could survive.
    1. deleted1123719
      deleted1123719
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      Thanks wade! I think the Dunmer narrator would've been quite an interesting character in his own right. Maybe I should go on and write his story next
  10. Nataly1q2w3e4r5t
    Nataly1q2w3e4r5t
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    Very intense and heart wrenching continuation of twins tale, wonderfully written! Never imagined to see werewolf renegade energy ability in such sad light, for twins had to kill and let Brana feed on their alpha to survive.. at least twins are still together eve if their mentor did die. It might cause twins to desire a great pay back on vampires who did that! hopefully the twins will find their own place and pack eventually or live contently as a duo.
    1. deleted1123719
      deleted1123719
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      Thanks Nataly. Yes, it was a sad moment for the twins but sometimes out of those difficult moments, true heroes are born. And at least they're still a pack of two.