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Before I jump into the mod, I’d like to apologize for being so late coming out with this mod. I recently learned that the moon is not actually made of cheese, nor has there ever been any recorded case of a cow jumping over it. I’m sure that you can all see why I was not in the mood to mod. But now, without further ado, I present to you… #EnslaveBartonThorn!
"I take it back, Barton Thorn is an asshole." - Albert Einstein
Let's all be honest for a minute. Einstein was right. E does equal MC^2. Now, as far as the mod goes, Barton is an ass. Sure, he didn't deserve to die, but after he is spared, the bastard is so greedy he doesn't even so much as apologize, much less give you a reward worthy of such a noble act. So what do we do? We take matters into our own hands. We teach him a valuable lesson. We #EnslaveBartonThorn. Now before you get all judgmental and say things such as “Slavery is wrong” or “This mod offends me” just remember, Barton isn’t black, so it’s not racist. As civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr. once said “"I have a dream that the wasteland will one day be a nation where people will not be enslaved based on the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.”Since Barton is enslaved on account of being a dreamer, a lover, and an asshole, Martin Luther King sees no problem with this mod, so neither should you. (Let the records show that Helen Keller sees nothing wrong with this mod either.) Washington had slaves, Jefferson had slaves, hell, every president has had slaves (excluding Jimmy Carter [God rest his soul]). So man up, and #EnslaveBartonThorn.
Get a disposable pack mule.
If you’re feeling down, blow up Barton’s head.
Let’s be clear, this coward is not a person; he’s a tool. A tool to help you, the magnificent person who saved him, to accomplish your mission of… whatever it is you want to do. Just don’t expect him to fight deathclaws with you. Hell, he couldn’t even take a few geckos. So don’t be surprised when he runs away from a fight. On the bright side, he’ll be so weighed down with all your stuff he likely won’t get very far.
“Not bad.” – Caesar
“Retribution!” – Families of the fallen geckos.
“Not the bees!” – Nicolas Cage
None
TheHeroOfTime – For his lack of reading skills that created the framework for this mod. I kid, this guy is basically Leonardo DeCaprio, sneaking around putting ideas in peoples’ heads.
The New Voice Actor – An airbender named Aang, and although his voice acting skills are great, he has a lot to learn before he’s ready to save anyone.
Thank you all for your support, and if you’d like to help with further mods, either be providing your wonderful ideas or your beautiful voices, or if you just want someone to talk to, feel free to add me on steam, I love meeting new people. (Steam ID is BitsOBacon)
And, as always, support the cause at #EnslaveBartonThorn.
Important Note:
You must have #SaveBartonThorn activated (http://www.nexusmods.com/newvegas/mods/55988) and it must be v5.0 or later!Description:
"I take it back, Barton Thorn is an asshole." - Albert Einstein
Let's all be honest for a minute. Einstein was right. E does equal MC^2. Now, as far as the mod goes, Barton is an ass. Sure, he didn't deserve to die, but after he is spared, the bastard is so greedy he doesn't even so much as apologize, much less give you a reward worthy of such a noble act. So what do we do? We take matters into our own hands. We teach him a valuable lesson. We #EnslaveBartonThorn. Now before you get all judgmental and say things such as “Slavery is wrong” or “This mod offends me” just remember, Barton isn’t black, so it’s not racist. As civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr. once said “"I have a dream that the wasteland will one day be a nation where people will not be enslaved based on the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.”Since Barton is enslaved on account of being a dreamer, a lover, and an asshole, Martin Luther King sees no problem with this mod, so neither should you. (Let the records show that Helen Keller sees nothing wrong with this mod either.) Washington had slaves, Jefferson had slaves, hell, every president has had slaves (excluding Jimmy Carter [God rest his soul]). So man up, and #EnslaveBartonThorn.
Advantages
Gain some well-deserved respect from Caesar.Get a disposable pack mule.
If you’re feeling down, blow up Barton’s head.
About Barton
Let’s be clear, this coward is not a person; he’s a tool. A tool to help you, the magnificent person who saved him, to accomplish your mission of… whatever it is you want to do. Just don’t expect him to fight deathclaws with you. Hell, he couldn’t even take a few geckos. So don’t be surprised when he runs away from a fight. On the bright side, he’ll be so weighed down with all your stuff he likely won’t get very far.
Praise:
“Not bad.” – Caesar
“Retribution!” – Families of the fallen geckos.
“Not the bees!” – Nicolas Cage
Criticism
None
Special Thanks to:
TheHeroOfTime – For his lack of reading skills that created the framework for this mod. I kid, this guy is basically Leonardo DeCaprio, sneaking around putting ideas in peoples’ heads.
The New Voice Actor – An airbender named Aang, and although his voice acting skills are great, he has a lot to learn before he’s ready to save anyone.
And now, a president from the message of the United States, BitsOBacon.
Thank you all for your support, and if you’d like to help with further mods, either be providing your wonderful ideas or your beautiful voices, or if you just want someone to talk to, feel free to add me on steam, I love meeting new people. (Steam ID is BitsOBacon)
And, as always, support the cause at #EnslaveBartonThorn.