Have you ever been jealous of those flash super mutant suiciders?  They've got a mini nuke, and they can just detonate it at will.  No fatman needed, just boom!  The problem is you can't find suicide nukes anywhere, and nobody sold them.  The super mutants must have been getting them from somewhere, so I decided to investigate.  Using Piper's skills as an investigative reporter(1), we should have had a source in no time, but it seemed nobody knew.  Piper interviewed 280 people, 22 feral ghouls, several molerats and a Deathclaw(2), and in all this time not one name was mentioned.  It wasn't until Strong asked what Piper was investigating, that I found out it was a produced by an organisation called the Invisible Kavorkian Gnomes, and the only way to make contact was by inhaling some exotic herbs.  I performed the ritual and before long I was able to commune with the Invisible Kavorkian Gnomes, with the aim of securing a supply of the suicide nukes.

It turned out that there was no way it could be done.  It turned out that despite the super mutants appearing thick is pig shit, they actually have a grasp of legal issues.  As records on designs had been destroyed by the war, no one could conclusively prove that super mutants didn't own the copyright tp the hand held mini nuke, and asserted their control over it.  This meant that the IKG couldn't actually supply me with them, as despite them owning the patent on the device, the design was being used under licence with the conditions that it was only available to super mutants.

They did however produce the Go Nuclear Suicide Grenade(3).  This would basically be the same thing, just disguised as a normal fragmentation grenade.  I was a little dubious however.  I know size isn't everything(4), but the grenade was quite a bit smaller, and surely the extra one you got free to give as a gift couldn't be legit.  They showed me some tesitmonials.  Jules from New Vegas said that her little nephew positively exploded with joy when she gave him one, and Mike from somewhere in the Wasteland said giving his mother in law a Go Nuclear Suicide Grenade solved all his problems with her.  I was concerned that there were no first hand testimonials from people who had used it, but IKG assured me that they'd had no complaints or returns.  After some tense negotiations I was able to arrange to become the sole vendor of the Go Nuclear Suicide Grenade.

To get it, simply download the mod and select the ESL or ESP version.  Then find a chemlab, and go into the grenades section.  There you'll see the Go Nuclear Suicide Grenade, and use the PipPal function to pay 100 caps.  You'll then receive two Go Nuclear Suicide Grenades.  These aren't some shonky knock offs like you'd find on Wish, these are the real deal.  These will literally blow you away.  It's really that simple.

Anyway, enjoy, hate, perform bizarre experiments on.  And in case you're a bit thick and don't get it - THIS WILL FUCKING KILL YOU AND EVERYONE AROUND YOU IF YOU USE IT.



SERIOUS STUFFS IS HERE!  PLEASE USE YOUR EYEHOLES TO READ!
OK, it's all cool to make a mod that entertains suicide, but this is a computer game.  Committing suicide for real isn't cool, and a dick move.  If you're feeling like you want to commit suicide for real or you're worried about someone who might, then look on here https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines . I know it's Wikipedia, but the list is long and global so not just focused on one country.  There's no shame in asking for support (been there, done it), and nothing is worth taking your life over.



Footnotes

1 - She just opens her legs.
2 - A rather unfortunate angle meant the Deathclaw slipped and wrong holed her.  She still isn't walking right.
3 - Go Nuclear Suicide Grenade is a trademark IKG Industries.  All rights are reserved.
4 - That's what she said...