well i take it you know why by now, but if you dont you probably talked to yol of londor, and he "extracted" your true strength. wich give you a dark sigil. so you die and die die and die again. gaining hollowing levels. wich in turn let you gain more levels for free from yol. but you gain more and more hollowing. so you look like that. you can cure it tho and look like human again.
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...And i think I understand what you mean lol