For those of you with short attention spans, here's the TL,DR version:
Modding should be fun for everyone. 
Not just for the users, but for the authors too. 
If users treat mod authors poorly, they will burn out and we all get less mods. 
So please be kind to your mod authors.  


Why do Mod Authors make mods?

There's a bunch of reasons, but I'll provide a few of the biggies.  

1. Figuring out how things work is fun.

2. Because an author knows they have the ability to make something better, and are kind enough to share the finished product with others.

3. Because being part of a healthy modding community is enjoyable.     

4. Watching other people take pleasure in something you made is very rewarding. 

5. To show off their creativity and skill.

6. Because everyone knows modded play is just better than vanilla. 

7. To give back to the community. 

Ultimately, it comes down to this: They mod because they want a better game, and since no one else is doing it for them, they learn to make it themselves.  

Behind the curtain of the not-so-nice aspects of modding: Interacting with bad users. 

I watched something very disappointing happen this week: One of my mentors and friends, a prominent mod author got fed up with unreasonable users, and pulled all of his mods off of Nexus.  He had dozens of great mods the community now no longer has access to.

There were multiple reasons for him to do this, but I will share two of the major causes.  

1. Entitled Users who thought the mod author owed them something.

2. Providing users with tech-support was taking too much time away from the author's meaningful work.  

It's a great example of "This is why we can't have nice things."

The Social Contract of Mod Authors and Users.

Mod authors aren't above reproach, of course not, but at the same time, let's frame the relationship correctly:

Mod authors selflessly use their own time and hard earned skill to provide users with extra content for free. 
They do this as a public service in their spare time. 
Very few authors receive even a token donation. 
I have known some authors who have poured thousands of hours into overhaul mods, spending hundreds of dollars on resources, and have made like $10 from donations. 
They're not in this for the money or the fame.    
That's fine, no mod author expects a dime, but it is an appreciated gesture. 

Users simply download the mods and get to enjoy the free content. 
Good users endorse good mods, and provide useful feedback to authors.
Excellent users start contributing themselves and learn to mod.     

It's healthy for users to offer constructive criticism, provide reasonable suggestions, keep authors aware of bugs, share mod interaction experiences, etc.  However, some users can become too demanding, unreasonable, and down right ugly.  

Things Users need to understand about mods/authors:

1. A working mod with directions is the fair expectation of users, but that's about as far as the mod author has to go.
Mod authors don't owe users anything else. 
Anything else they give a user beyond the barebones functioning self-contained-mod+directions is considered a bonus.

2. Mod authors should provide good directions, but "a bridge is built from both sides of the river."
Meaning, users need to read the provided directions, and at least have a basic understanding of modding.
One of the most frustrating things a mod author has to do is waste time responding to users to re-read the directions. 
Example:
User 1: "Is this a server side, or client side mod?" 
Author: "Server side, as it stated in the main mod page directions."
User 2: "Does EAC have to be disabled for this mod to work?"
Author: "Did you read the instructions?  I promise you the answer is there."
User 3: "Do I need to start a new game for this to mod to take effect?"
Author: "RTFM!"

3. It is not a mod authors job to make their mods work with other authors mods. You can politely request they make the two mods compatible, or provide a variant. 
It usually goes something like this:
User: "Hey, I love your mod X, but it doesn't work with other Author's Mod Y.  Would you please consider making your mod compatible with theirs?" 
This is a perfectly fine request from a user.  But at the same time, a user must respect the author's answer of "No" if they can't/won't provide additional services.     
If/when a user becomes too demanding, entitled, or indignant; the easiest thing for the author to do is block the user, or pull down their mod altogether.  

4. If a user asks for a variant, and the mod author provides the user with directions to make it themselves, it's for a good reason:
A. It's about setting a precedence.  Mod Authors are rarely looking for more work.  They don't want to manage 37 variant mods to make their work compatible with every other fly-by-night Overhaul mod.  Serious Authors always have a list of projects they'd like to get around to.  Most extraneous user needs fall outside of the authors priority bucket.
B. Simple XML mods are really easy to adjust, even for new players.  You should try to figure it out yourself.    
C. Mod Authors believe in the old adage: "Give a man a fish, feed him for the day, teach a man to fish, and he can feed himself for life."  This is what gets most authors into modding.  We want variants and new mods, other authors didn't want to make them, so we learned to make them ourselves. 
D. If a mod suggestion would take too much time, be too difficult to implement, or that project doesn't interest them, it's reasonable for the mod author to say no.  As a User, I have had this happen to me.  I didn't get upset, or berate the author.  I went and learned how to make the mod myself.   

5. Something users need to understand: Even after a mod is published, maintaining a library of mods is work.  
Every time the vanilla game updates, it could potentially break the Authors mods.  This takes time to test, fix, and reupload.  Answering dozens of user comments daily is another time-sink.  Especially when it's providing directions that were already covered on the mod page that the user didn't read.     

6. Mod authors have lives too.  Very few modders are independently wealthy.  Most of them have full time jobs, family, and some sort of social life.  They're not sitting around waiting for you to unload your troubles onto them 24/7/365.  On top of providing users with mods, they'd like to spend some of their limited spare time actually playing the games.  The more time a mod author wastes on admin, the less time/inclination he has to spend making mods.    

7. Mod authors are people too, just like you.  Be kind to the authors.  Endorse Good Mods.  Provide constructive criticism.  Wait patiently for a response.  Don't be an @$80l3 in the comments section. 

This is all pretty basic stuff, but I'm going to provide a real life example from this week:

User 1: I love your mod, but if it is possible, would you please consider making your mod compatible with other-mod-authors-mod?
Author: No.  I'm sorry, but it's not technically feasible, the two mods work in very different contradictory ways.
User 2: Your mod isn't working if it isn't compatible with other-authors-mod?!
Author: My mod works just fine, there is nothing to fix, it is not my responsibility to make this mod compatible with theirs.
User 2: I didn't ask you to fix it, I said make it compatible with theirs.  Fine, if you're going to be a jerk, I am uninstalling your mods since you won't make it compatible.

User 2 was a real 'See You Next Tuesday'.  From User2's perspective, they felt they were entitled to demand more of the authors time to get his mod to work with the other authors mod.  From the Authors point of view, that's not his job.  Had User2 not been so awful about it, the original mod author might have collaborated with the other mod author behind the scenes to make both mods compatible... it's a small community, most authors interreact with one another like this regularly.  But now, there is a 0% chance that author is going to make the mod compatible.  Why? Because we don't negotiate with terrorists.  

From the mod author's perspective, that's precisely what hostile ungrateful users are: terrorists. 
They are beggars that go into comments section and complain that their free ribeye steak was cooked Medium Rare (as advertised), when they wanted a Well Done filet mignon with a lobster tail on the side.