i found this fix on an ancient nexus forum thread and i was surprised that this wasn't already made... i have all unofficial skyrim patches and those skyrim misc patches but this problem persevered, so thanks to TDOGH and this
http://forums.nexusmods.com/index.php?/topic/1142098-somehow-fixt-lip-sync-problems-its-seems-lol/ here is a fix

tnx to:
TDOGH for the idea
Beathesda for thousands of hours of fun :)

just drop this into your data folder in skyrim directory