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"What you got?" Lydia asks.
"Bread, cheese, tomato. You know, the usual."
"Ploughman's lunch, eh?"
"Hm. Yea, I suppose it is." Ysolda responds, her meal seeming even less exotic than it was before.
"Bit lively in here this evening?"
"Yea. They've been here most of the afternoon, I reckon. Even old Brennuin took the knock earlier but he seems to be back on form."
"Play it! Play it!" the men all eagerly shout at Mikael, but Ulfberth the blacksmith seems the most eager for him to play a particular song.
"A little early for that, isn't it, fellas?" Mikael responds with his well practised charm but already getting his fingers into position on the instrument for it, gently strumming the opening chord.
"No!" Hulda shouts at them all. "I don't want that filth polluting the air!"
"It's just a little fun, Hulda, my dear. Maybe I should even add a verse for you..." Mikael attempts to woo her.
"Don't even... gah!" Hulda shows her exasperation that she is no doubt going to be ignored and returns behind the bar in a fluster.

Mikael plays out a shanty and the men begin to sway, raising their mugs and cheering for the best bits when he commences his song. Carlotta has already ushered the young ears she is mother to away and out of the tavern.

"Oh I know a girl,
She'll give you a twirl,
Just pass her a little coin.

Lovely and round,
So few to the pound,
Ripe to purloin.

I don't 'bout you,
But when there are two,
Proud and exposed.

I just can't resist,
Those lovely, big tits,
Nature's warmer for the nose!

Come on fellas!" Mikael encourages the crowd to join the chorus which they do, and with some gusto.

"Busty! Lusty!
Ever so slightly rude!
Easy! Squeezy!
The girls of Solitude!"

There is a musical interlude while the next verse comes around.

"Not the next one! She's a lovely girl, now stop it!" Hulda attempts but to no avail as Mikael continues under the encouragement of the crowd.

"Now there is a tale,
A worthy female,
Lisette, she's a breeze.

Complexion so fair,
Song voice that's so rare,
Her mouth knows how to please.

But best on her knees,
On soft thighs like trees,
Giving it all she's got.

Believe me, you'll see
By the Nine, what you'll see!
She can take the lot!"

The rowdy chorus continues and Hulda pours herself a large mug of spiced wine.

"Busty! Lusty!
Ever so slightly rude!
Easy! Squeezy!
The girls of Solitude!"

Hulda slams down her mug, the wine splashing out over the rim.
"Not the last one, it's... disgusting!" then she downs the remainder of the drink in one.

"Now royalty beckons,
And now that I reckons,
There's one at the Palace, Blue.

Erdi, court maid,
No doubt underpaid,
The things she could do for you.

So offer her coin,
I reckon she'll join,
In most activities.

But best on her back,
Showing her crack,
As she parts her gorgeous knees."

"Filthy beasts!" Hulda shouts at them as there is a flurry of cheers and lurid noises.

"Busty! Lusty!
Ever so slightly rude!
Easy! Squeezy!
The girls of Solitude!

One more time!

Busty! Lusty!
Ever so slightly rude!
Easy! Squeezy!
The girls of Solitude!
They're the girls of Solitude!"

The men all cheer the end of the song and clap for the bard, who takes his plaudits with a flourish of bows.

"Waheeeeeeeeeeey!" Brennuin shouts as he is caught from falling in the fire by Ulfberth, who then proceeds to fling the little man to one side, sometimes unaware of how much strength he carries from years of smithing. He wasn't unaware this time though.

"Wasn't so bad." Lydia says to Ysolda once the noise has settled.
"He's the most amazing bard I've ever heard." Ysolda gushes.
"Really? Hm. Takes all sorts I suppose. Maybe he should do a verse on you, eh?"
"You think he would?!" she replies, not only thinking Lydia was serious but that it would be a good thing in the first place.
"You're a strange girl, Izzy. Hey! Saadia! Can I get a mead here today or what?”

-excerpt from 'Road to Breezehome' by Stuart James