Mod 10168, and I had to tweak with CK tool to get rid of dark skin tone. Did cntl-F4 and deleted the FaceGenData files to get Lydia's face tone back. I still couldn't change her manly walk.
No actor named HouseCarlWhiterun, and only Lydia is under the EventID HouseCarlWhiterun. I unchecked Lydia's Opp Gender Anims when I was getting her new hair look. I unchecked Jordis, but she too walk like a man.
The NordRace Female Behavior Graph is already set to DefaultFemale.hkx, but I don't see that file in meshes/actors/character folder. I'm running with Skyrim v1.7 Steam version.
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Still it's strange that you don't have a HousecarWhiterun for that matter as Lydia's Actor ID is called that way in the default Skyrim.ESM.
You go look for the "Actor" named "HousecarlWhiterun".
Open that and tick off the option "Opposite Gender Anims" on the "Trait" tab.