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28 comments
Brilliant!
I love it that chapter started on more positive note, a lovely change from the despair, misery and carnage of the last chapter. It was very interesting to see how Finayla grows, how her character develops... Of course her heritage played a great role in her character, and it is fascinating to see such duality in character, like her elven calmness and Nord fierceness, that can change each other in a blink of an eye. Surely Finayla gave trouble to her grandfather with her nature! and like Wolf, I think it is wrong to shut out her one side so other can resurface fully... better ti embrace both or it might cause a lot of torment for Finayla.
Great idea that Akatosh made Finayla Dragonborn in a wink, also very lovely poetry too! she sure will be very unusual Dragonborn and I will look forward for continuation! Thank you very much for sharing your wonderful work!
Yes I can imagine she wouldn't be the easiest of children to bring up but Erandas most likely didn't have the knowledge required to raise her truly properly. She would have learned how to handle her Nord and Bosmer blood a lot better had her parents survived.
Glad you liked the poetry but really, it's not my strong point! I like subtlety more than out and out in your face rhyming! Like the wink from Aka / Auri being responsible for making something as special and powerful as Dragonborn.
Edit: and after reading it- I think it's safe to add Poet to your resume ;-)
I am also taking advantage of Nexus's newest feature- (which I love) the 'artist tracking' so I'm alerted to your newest works. Very cool!! Have a great weekend my dear!
Great and powerful back story to this character. A very in-depth history since it covers not just her life but those who came before her - her parents and even a grandparent. Very interesting and I like how she became Dragonborn all do to a wink from Auri-El.
I do disagree with Grandpa, who is admittedly biased, that it would be very unwise and very unhealthy to try and shut-off half of her heritage. Far better to embrace both and find a way to merge them together. Instead of seeing them as a weakness that breaks and divides - far better to take the strength from both heritages and merge them together.
Fascinating story and tale! She is one of your most intriguing characters to date I think.
Depending on which viewpoint, one could argue that Erandas' handling of Fin's mixed blood actually CAUSED Auri-El / Akatosh to notice and name her Dragonborn and set off the chain of events that would follow... or one could say she was born to it and nothing he (or she) could have doe would'e made a jot of different. Personally, I like the former
Anyway, it's been an interesting ride and I'm close to completing her back story. Then... who knows, I may continue with her or I may take on another project...
Human mind is geared to make order out of chaos. That is why we see patterns where none may exist; a face in the clouds or a creature made out of leaves and shadows in the woods. Where something is chance and coincidence we see karma and fate.
Consciousness is nothing more than our streams of random thoughts put into a sense of order, that in turn gives us the illusion of a conscious mind. One really needs to study the theories (which I have in college and books) to explain it properly. A really good book is "Consciousness: An Introduction" by Susan Black more.
One idea is that it is merely a stream of thoughts fed from the unconscious. Science has shown that we actually make decisions BEFORE consciously being aware we have. In one experiment that monitor cells in the brain it was shown that the cells in the brain responsible for moving the hand to press a button were firing before the person had made the conscious decision that they were going to press the button. Instead the decision was made by the unconscious - which is just a collection of memories and behavior built up from birth - and all our "consciousness" did was shed a "spotlight" on the decision.
The human mind is so complex that the complexity itself is seen as a sign that we must have consciousness and even a "soul" if you take it further. Yet so is the human body - built up from DNA into the huge variety of human shapes. Even matter is just how atoms come together. It only "seems" to complex because our minds have trouble comprehending it ... but that does not imply it has to have some other meaning.
The point of this ramble is that free will, then, is also as illusionary as consciousness. Instead all decision are built upon past decisions since birth, combined with any genetic and biological factors that can also influence behavior and thought, and drugs and chemicals, and so on. Again so complex as to seem impossible but that is a human limitation - it does not mean it is reality.
Is everything predetermined then? Yes and no. No because the future has not happened and the future is made up of interactions with others. Yes because ones own actions and thoughts are made up of all their past experiences ... which in turn will dictate just how you will react to any decision, event, etc.
Do I believe these theories? I do not know the answer. Having studied a lot of psychology I find these theories, along with behavioral theorists like B. F. Skinner, to be very bleak and depressing.
Humans are balanced between HOPE and DESPAIR in some sense. Despair because of the possibility life is as bleak as science and theories can make it seem. No soul, no purpose, no meaning to anything. Just random chance we evolved built upon simple building blocks that over time got more and more complex. With so much time in evolution it should not be a surprise just how complex humans, animals, existence itself, has come. Again limited by our minds limits. Even thought itself is illusionary ... how much so, if at all, is hard to say. Personality and the soul has no meaning. Look how easy disease and drugs can completely change a person. Mental diseases is often the break down of the minds ability to put order on things. That, to me, is a very bleak existence as it implies there truly is no purpose to anything at all.
Then we have HOPE which to me is imagination. It is the idea, sometimes against all reason, that there is more to life. That perhaps there is some grand plan. A soul. Something. The mind, in self defense (much like our blood cells will attack a virus) protects itself from the bleakness of reality by providing hope - religion and spirituality being two big ones.
Even when humans do not believe in religion the mind still protects itself. Have you ever experienced a time when you truly think about what death means and your heart starts to race in fear of non-existence? Where it hits you like a sledgehammer at 3am in the morning or a dark-alley or a close brush with death. It seldom lasts - the mind will either shift focus to something else or start to look at it clinically and remove some of the emotional intensity. Oh it is still there but more distance. The human minds it very good at ignoring things it does not want to think about - rationalization, belief in something that has no logical support, forgetting it entirely, or just pushing it away are all defenses.
Hope is the defense against the despair of existence. I have no answers of course. Everyone has to fight their own battle in life over these concepts whether they know it or not. My "hope" is my imagination. For the most part I believe in logic and science so I tend to believe more in the bleak views on existence - we are just chemicals put together in a complicated way - but I still need to get through the day so I use my imagination to at least pretend there is more.
That being said I am not going to chose some boring oppressive belief system - as to me either they are all right or all wrong. Either there is something more or their isn't in many ways. Consequently I want a far more visceral "hope" system. Hence why I love writing and playing games like Skyrim with dreams of being Grim or finding other worlds or magic or what ever my imagination comes up with. This is also why I tend towards a more positive story writing approach I think. Life can truly be amazing and filled with joy and wonder ... but it can also be the complete opposite all to often. Since I have to deal with reality every day of my life I prefer my escape, my hope, to be a more positive one when I can.
Sorry for the ramble but I love concepts of free will, consciousness, destiny, fate, and meaning of life theories and your comment made me think of it all.
This then is why I get so intrigued about the ideas of destiny / fate and free will. I love examples in literature when a character thinks the self a pawn in destiny's game only to find out that they were the machination for destiny's hand to cast its stone in the first place. The series I'm reading now, Sara Douglass's Wayfarer Redemption, is full of this; was it the prophecy that ordained events to happen, or did the characters themselves drive the prophecy forth by following what they believed was an inevitable path?
I will never know (in this lifetime) what the truth is I guess, but I'm happy wit my belief in things. If I had to explain it id say a heavily based belief in science and biology with a backing of evolution, but with room for the mysteries of the 'soul' or, if you like, imagination as being a major contributor to what makes up a person. Plus there's the whole notion of schemas and attributions to which I quite like (that we are a collection of blueprints that we apply to every thought, situation or event which determines how we will react and perceive that event)... then there's the somewhat controversial theory a friend of mine ascribes to; that she's asleep and we're all products of her dream (somewhat of a self centred friend)!
Long and short, I don't know for sure, but I have a set of rules and beliefs that see me comfortable in day to day life and not worried about 'the end' when it comes. Or if it comes (I'm not counting out the fact that vampires may yet live among us and may make me immortal one day).
Anyway, thanks for the good discussion sweetie!
Glad you're here again - ( kate bush appears in my head now but that must be the beer
Cheers!
Wonderfully written dear ! And i don't think it's bad poetry
Anyway, thanks for reading and commenting dear!
It is also interesting how the personalities of both her origins manifested themselves in her, a side introspective and the other exuberant and fiery. Seems Erandas could not hold back her curious spirit about the nords, his prayers heard making sure of that, those eyes turned towards her for a moment. Your poetry is far from awful, I quite liked those words, sounds like the way such a diety might speak.
It is great to finally see the face hidden by hooded armor, she has some great character in that face and I really like how you combined touches of features of nord and bosmer, those elegant ears and almond eyes of a bosmer their blue hue that of a nord, and those strong lines of a nord's face, give her a distinctive beauty. Another fantastic chapter, Jess
Yes, can't children be cruel? I can just imagine Fin's young teenage friends half envying her her strength, height and hair but also laughing and gossiping behind her back about her obvious 'differences'. It must have been hard for her growing up amongst that.
Thanks for the kind words about my poetry... I still think it's pretty awful but I was at work and needed to come up with something pretty fast that would convey what the Old Soul saw in her. I really was just trying to bring attention to the fact that it's the blood of those two distinct lines that have made her have the potential to be Dovakhiin. This is really just an exploration into how someone can come to be a destined, ordained figure.
Anyway, enough rambling. I'm just glad you enjoyed it!
Glad you enjoyed the chapter and like Fin's look! Thanks my dear Shelley.