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Grim Tales - Might and Magic - Fenrir Unbound Book III - Chapter 5
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38 comments
Love seeing Erik and Wolfgar traveling together. Those bamdits made a poor choice in attacking those two!
Great work Wolf!
Nice job with Grim in class, too. It's very much him to take the damage like that, though I'd forgotten just how far his magic skills can go when needed. That was a very dirty trick for Ancano to pull; he's damn lucky Tolfdir was there, so Grim didn't rip his throat out or worse! (Though I have a feeling Grim may end up tearing him a new one anyway eventually.) Nice to see Elisha on Grim's side, too; it seems at least one student is willing to look beyond the surface with him. I wouldn't be surprised if Onmund befriends him either, or at least tries to.
And poor Avrein, still very much torn: duty and his sister on one hand, personal feelings and sense of what's right on the other. I suspect he won't be much happier with Ancano than Grim is at the moment.
Well done again, both pics and story!
Onmund has been a bit envious at first of Grim but he warmed up a little after the incident in the class room.
Avrein is a decent person actually. He killed in the war but it was a war. The thing is that he is decent for an Altmer which may not always be the same definition of what is decent for a human, although there is certainly cross over. So he still has some sense of superiority and some religious overtones about Altmer status thanks to Lorhkan and humans. On the other hand many Altmer do NOT agree with the Thalmor view (from what I have been reading in lore) and being Altmer does not mean being Thalmor. So Avrein won't reject being Altmer but he may end up rejecting being Thalmor.
Thanks again for the comment and feedback!
Seeing Grim's dark(er) side in the flash of his eyes when Elisha came up to him was unexpected (and quite sexy). I wonder if his struggle with his heritage is becoming ever more difficult? That beats within seems to be ever closer to the surface... and on Elisha, am I sensing a big of a crush there??
I'm still internally mistrustful of Avrein. I guess it's because he himself isn't clear on his own motives yet (plus also, if he tries to come in between Erik and grim I'm slap him)! So, all in all, a great read and I hope to catch up on the latest chapter soon!!
That is one thing I admire about your writing so much - I know you care a lot for Rathe but you don't let that stop you from being objective in your writing about him. I have a much harder time being objective towards Grim as he is my "hero" as it were. I think the next time I decide to write a story about a character I will have to find a way to be more detached from them so that I can make them more fallible, human, and imperfect.
The other thing you do very well (as do some others around here) is break your characters down and really examine their thought process and motives; give them a lot depth and personality. I have been trying to give Erik, Grim, and others more depth but it is certainly one of my weakest areas in regards to writing. Only recently have I been trying to do that more, using Avrein as an example.
Still for the rest of Grim's saga I doubt I will change him much - he is the archetypical fantasy hero and that is how I like him. The next time I write a big saga I am going to focus a lot more on the depth and angst of the main character. So much of the last two years of writing on Grim has been learning experience and practice combined with simply wanting to have some fun.
Anyhow don't want to get to side-tracked and you can read Farvats comment and my reply for more about what I am talking about.
Of course Grim does have some rough spots and the eyes you talked about are one example of that. At the point Elisha stopped him he was tired, annoyed, angry and just not in the mood to deal with people. He also really missed Erik and Wolfgar .. but he is also a responsible person and he has stuff he has to do.Anyhow Elisha saw some of the beast - which he really wanted to let loose on Ancano but I did not think it would be in character for him to make such a foolish mistake as to turn into a wolf and kill Ancano right there in the college. Being human doesn't mean you have to be stupid or that you have no will power.
I think Elisha is finding Grim rather fascinating as he is so unlike anything or anyone she has met before. Some of that I think has turned into a bit of a crush or infatuation.
Also to mention one of your first comments - Wolfgar and Erik are getting a lot closer. Some of that is the fact that Erik drank Grims semi-divine blood and shares the beast bond now. All three of them are becoming very close. Even though I know this is a big spoiler of sorts it is one reason that I find it very unlikely I would make Grim more "human" by having him cheat on Erik. It just isn't part of who he is as a person to do that. I mean I have been in relationships and I have been tempted but not cheated. Nor have other people I know (I have to trust them of course but I don't see my brother or my parents doing that). I think it is possible for some people to not cheat on a spouse.
On the other hand I can think of some things Grim might do that are more human and actually have some plans for that in the future but simply have not progressed far enough in the story to get to it.
Thanks again for the comment and feedback, always appreciate it very much!
Very nice all the rest. great narrative costruction around the events of Grim in the academy, in which the stupidity attack put in place in the shadows by Ancano, leads to the contrary, actually to reveal the heroic nature of Grim that saves all from a risky accident. Ancano suffers a little in your narrative of a reduction of its potential as a character, but this is in line with the fact that there are other thalmor and then everything is played within this narrative economy. Grim is in these situations very linear as a character, but as you have stated many times, this is your intention in the sense of avoiding too obscure and problematic aspects to embrace a lighter narrative fantasy.
Grim is an ideal hero, but like any ideal tends to be an abstract projection, which loses in complexity with respect to the concrete dimension of reality. To make it concrete, you should deconstruct him, but the cost is your own deconstruction of your imagination, which also has a protective nature. This is a question that sooner or later you'll face as a writer.
My only real criticism hits a point, apparently secondary.
You can not insert concepts such as "Virus" "genetic diseases and hereditary hillness" in a context like this. A dialogue like that is equivalent to giving Grim a Kalashnikov, to do battle with that.
No one in the world of Tamriel could never even think of conceptualizations, such as these, as it lacks the cultural background necessary to produce them. The disease is not a product of a virus, but arises from the influence of the Daedra Peryite or Hircine or others. An alchemical potion does not cure the body as an antibiotic, but it helps to make the soul balanced so as to resist and reject these harmful influences.
Within the magical, religious and alchemical paradigm the body, the matter are direct manifestations of the soul, or rather the spirit. In modern science instead is quite the opposite: spirit and soul are illusory manifestation of the body, and of the mechanistic material and biological processes. These two paradigms are almost totally incompatible. Where there is one, the other disappears. Speaking of viruses, genetics and all this stuff inside academy of magic is completely illogical. Simply because all this stuff does not exist and neither needs to be culturally produced, because there is all the cultural equipment needed to explain the world phenomena. If the magic works, if the Alchemy works, if the gods exist and operate in the world, why would anyone produce alternative "advanced theories ", if the current paradigm is not in crisis?
Moreover these theories have no foundation, no experimental evidence! Who roams the academy secretly disseminating such profanity, he would not only be a fool, but his madness would never be big enough to produce such ideas. Where ever would have taken them? Such a character that Colette, simply can not exist. You can not apply our cultural conceptions, to those presupposed by the narrative context of the game, so free. In the same way that you can not wield a Kalashnikov to Grim.
The whole chapter is beautiful, except for this little flaw. But why did you put that speech? :O
So first lets take my biggest mistake, the reference to modern medical terms. Why did I do that? Two simple reasons, neither one of which is very good. First I was just lazy - it was easier to use modern medical terms to explain some things instead of taking the effort to find more suitable words. Second I admit to some confusion at times in regards to science in Tamriel because of the Dwemer who seem to mix science and magic. I have also read some fantasy books by published authors set in "medieval fantasy times" that also used some modern science terms like genetics and viruses ... I expect for the same reason I did - lazy.
So with that feedback in mind I just changed that conversation with Elisha (and also edited chapter 6 to remove some similar words) and I think it makes the story 100% better in that regard. I feel rather shamed and embarrassed actually as I tend to like to be lore friendly and don't know why I let myself do that in the first place. Here is the new text:
Laughing politely she replied, “Oh no, I had this class last year. I am waiting for Colette’s class which follows after Tolfdir’s. She will be discussing advanced theories on blood humors that I find to be simply fascinating.”
She looked around quickly before smiling cutely and whispered, “Don’t tell anyone I said this but Colette’s theories on how the various blood humors can be manipulated by both alchemic and restorative magic is well beyond those of the trainers back home;
Hopefully that fits into the culture a bit better.
Now in regards to Grim ... that is a bit more complicated to fix and I don't think I can do it for Grim without making things to discordant. What I mean is that he is already a pretty heroic and noble person so I don't want to just randomly start tossing in all types of human failures and mistakes. At least if that is what you mean by deconstruct. The thing is you are right, I am very protective of Grim so I tend to not drag him through the mud like a good writer should (I use Jess as a great example here - she loves her character Rathe but that has never stopped her from putting Rathe through hell and making him a very human character with faults and strengths - which is why I have always considered her a far better writer).
However I have put Grim through some things and he does have some failings and weaknesses. He struggles with his rage and often lost it - but he overcame a lot of it in a one key story so I haven't wanted him to backslide to much into rages. He was (and still is somewhat) very over-protective of Erik, has has trust issues, he isn't very social, and he hasn't always made the best decision nor always done the right thing.
That being said they are fairly minor compared to what most "heroes" go through in professional stories and it is great that you pointed this out as I often forget to keep this in mind when writing because I am protective of Grim. I will work on that.
I do have some things planned for him but I am just not very good at pacing and working it in using this medium (nexus). It can be done of course - Nataly, Jess, Lia are just three examples of writers who provide a lot of emotion depth and human failures to their characters. I think I also just forget to do it as I have so many other things going on.
Anyhow thanks for the feedback once again - very useful. Also let me know if I understand what you mean by deconstruct Grim. I take it break him down to his core parts and personality and have him go through hell and back to somewhat redefine himself - exploring different facets of his personality and character to provide a deeper and richer aspect of who he is as a person instead of a generic hero archetype.
Great shots in last two chapters and amazing writing as always.......on to next chapter
That being said I can confirm that what Avrein feels towards Grim is an actual mix. There is lust but also a growing fondness although he will vehemently deny it should you ever ask him *grin*.
As for Grim ... he feels some lust and some friendship but no romantic desire - which is the safest thing in many ways as it means Erik has nothing to worry about at the moment. My biggest concern, however, is what I just wrote on my flickr comment in response to your last statement
Love the part between Erik and Wolfgar; and how you described Erik not seeing himself as the Leader; aswell as recognizing that it is best to have friends that can give backup during adventures
On the Matter of Avrein; I would say it is sad to see that he is torn apart between duty and his own Feelings. I think he is not the Person to give up his "duty" for personal Feelings; or he would have saved that Half-Elf he was order to kill and refused. Even if that would have ment to offend his Sister and the Thalmor. So I guess it will be interesting if he can find the Courage to disobey his Sister and leave the Thalmor (even if that is basically a death sentence for himself) or if he will place his own Feelings and thoughts way behind those of his Sister
Very well done Chapter; great Ideas and Screenshots!
Avrein is a bit like Spock from Star Trek (not sure if you know that character). Logical and very intelligent he keeps his emotions all locked up. Tegan started to unlock them but it scared Avrein and he "ran" away from his emotions. By the time he was ready to make a decision it was to late, something is will regret possible for the rest of his life.
As to what he will do ... that is still a question but as you will see chapter 6 is a game changer for him
It is nice that Grim has found a friend among those of the college, one that sees beyond appearances. One can see Elisha's kindness and open mind in her interest in the arts of healing, arts that most of the college seem to think have no use at all, wish is quite foolish. I like the worry she had with Grim standing out so much among the other students in that lesson, that care she shows. Marissa sure taught Grim some very useful spells that serve him well, having made sure he could ward off spells, one most wise she is. Of course that Ancano had to stick his nose into things, but his seems his attempts at creating an accident did not go unnoticed as he would have thought, arrogant as he is. Those students are lucky that Grim risked himself to contain that blast, that they did not notice his what he did shows they are not the skilled mages they think they are. I like how Tolfdir defended Grim, countering their foolish words with an unusual anger for one usually calm as he is. Of course Ancano played the innocent one, he is lucky that Grim held back his anger once again, he is walking a dangerous line.
Your description of the cold of the mists that Avrein felt were so great, I could almost feel that chill he felt. Heartwarming to see that thanks from Elisha about what he had done, she is the keen eyed student to have noticed what was going on unlike the other apprentices, perhaps Grim was a little too forgiving about those other apprentices as she said. That glimpse of the thoughts of Avrein thinking things would be easier if he had been sent to kill grim, that seeing who he was by obesrving him, seeing the honor in the man made things more difficult were very intriguing, Avrein seems very conflicted about the views of other Thalmor and that of her sister especially. A really wonderfully weaved chapter, Jonathan
You are so right about Elisha! I suspect the Altmer are good healers really - her comments on humans and motivation to learn more about healing isn't meant to be my personal view on whether humans are really more motivated - it is just her personal opinion. I didn't mention it but as I told Nataly her brother is dying from a slow wasting disease and I think she got fed up with the lack of results back home.
I sometimes worry about making Grim to heroic or powerful. He is the *hero* of the story and he is part divine so he has to be bigger than life as that is a key part of the story - but I don't want him to seem invincible or infallible as he is not. He has a very human side and definite limitations. Not always easy to balance these. So he could survive the blast but not easily and not all on his own - Tolfdir helped and even after that Grim almost collapsed and is very weak - as Avrein mentioned later he would have been very easy to kill at that point as he was almost in a recuperative coma and so deeply asleep even his enhanced senses could not save him ... nor did he have his ever watchful brother Wolfgar at his side like he normally does. He was rather foolish in that regard but he trusts Avrein which is perhaps not so wise ... yet he doesn't know who he really is. Anyhow Ancano is a nasty piece of work and Grim is pretty fed up with him - yet his hands are tied at the college and it seems Ancano knows this and is rubbing it in his face whenever he can.
You have summarized Avrein nicely as well - he is very conflicted as I explained to my comment to Nataly. He doesn't know what to do anymore or which way to turn. His life was defined and well structured before he met Grim which is why part of him resents that. Now his life is in turmoil and he doesn't know what to do with all the emotions and new thoughts.
Thanks again for the wonderful comment Alexi!
excellentes work and fantastic music
Within Temptation is one of my favorite groups.
Thank you for the comment! I apologize for the lack of a summary but have been very busy and the images somewhat tell the tale a little this time. However the main reason is that more and more I am using text to show personalities of the characters and not action or big events so hard to summarize that type of stuff.
As always I do appreciate your support and comments so thank you again for viewing!