If you write a list of 10 things Chuck Norris can't do, he will show up at your house and perform them all. Your life may be forfeit.
When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Chuck Norris once taught a class called Ass Kicking 101. There were no survivors.
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris once picked a fight with a duck. The duck turned out to have several 10th degree blackbelts, and was the most formidable adversary Chuck Norris ever faced. Funny how random the universe can be.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell What The Hell was That?
There are no steroids in baseball, just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.
If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris isn't funny..... Stop laughing.
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
There is no theory of evolution..... Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris lets live.
Chuck Norris once went to the Virgin Islands.... Now they're just The Islands.....
Yeah..... My friends and I tell a lot of Chuck Norris jokes.......
MY TURN 1. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
2.In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.
3.Chuck Norris can win at solitaire with only 18 cards.
4. Saddam Hussein was not found hiding in a "hole." Saddam was roundhouse-kicked in the head by Chuck Norris in Kansas, which sent him through the earth, stopping just short of the surface of Iraq.
5.Jean-Claude Van Damme once kicked Chuck Norris' ass. He was then awakened from his dream by a roundhouse kick to the face.
6. The Seven Wonders of the ancient world were: Chuck Norris' left and right hands, his left and right feet, his belly button, his liver, and his beard.
7.Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
Nobody can kill Chuck Norris ! Chuck Norris is God.
1.Chuck Norris doesn't need a watch, Chuck Norris decide what hour is it! 2.Chuck Norris isn't wet, the water is Chuck Norris. 3.Chuck Norris include Jean-Claude Van Damme. 4.Kansas City, a city build by Chuck Norris.
Sorry if my english isn't very good, but Chuck Norris can speak all the languages... ">
1. Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight and the knife lost. 2. Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits. 3. Chuck Norris knows the last digit of PI. 4. Chuck Norris can taste lies. 5. When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he isn't pulling himself up; he's pushing the earth down. 6. Chuck Norris knows everything-except the definition of mercy 7. Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head. 8. There ARE no such things as tornadoes. Chuck Norris hates trailer parks. 9. America is not a democracy but a Chucktatorship. 10. Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper. Chuck Norris beats all three of them.
01 Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. 02 Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice. 03 Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing. 04 If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death. 05 Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month. 06 When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. 07 Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement. 08 Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there. 09 They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take poo from anybody. 10 A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris. ">!
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If you write a list of 10 things Chuck Norris can't do, he will show up at your house and perform them all. Your life may be forfeit.
When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Chuck Norris once taught a class called Ass Kicking 101. There were no survivors.
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris once picked a fight with a duck. The duck turned out to have several 10th degree blackbelts, and was the most formidable adversary Chuck Norris ever faced. Funny how random the universe can be.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell What The Hell was That?
There are no steroids in baseball, just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.
If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris isn't funny..... Stop laughing.
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
There is no theory of evolution..... Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris lets live.
Chuck Norris once went to the Virgin Islands.... Now they're just The Islands.....
Yeah..... My friends and I tell a lot of Chuck Norris jokes.......
1. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
2.In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.
3.Chuck Norris can win at solitaire with only 18 cards.
4. Saddam Hussein was not found hiding in a "hole." Saddam was roundhouse-kicked in the head by Chuck Norris in Kansas, which sent him through the earth, stopping just short of the surface of Iraq.
5.Jean-Claude Van Damme once kicked Chuck Norris' ass. He was then awakened from his dream by a roundhouse kick to the face.
6. The Seven Wonders of the ancient world were: Chuck Norris' left and right hands, his left and right feet, his belly button, his liver, and his beard.
7.Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
all facts complements of www.chucknorrisfacts.com
If you had 5 dollars and chuck had 5 dollars chuck would be richer than you.
Nobody can kill Chuck Norris !
Chuck Norris is God.
1.Chuck Norris doesn't need a watch, Chuck Norris decide what hour is it!
2.Chuck Norris isn't wet, the water is Chuck Norris.
3.Chuck Norris include Jean-Claude Van Damme.
4.Kansas City, a city build by Chuck Norris.
Sorry if my english isn't very good, but Chuck Norris can speak all the languages...
Lemme try Zenith
1. Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight and the knife lost.
2. Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits.
3. Chuck Norris knows the last digit of PI.
4. Chuck Norris can taste lies.
5. When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he isn't pulling himself up; he's pushing the earth down.
6. Chuck Norris knows everything-except the definition of mercy
7. Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
8. There ARE no such things as tornadoes. Chuck Norris hates trailer parks.
9. America is not a democracy but a Chucktatorship.
10. Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper. Chuck Norris beats all three of them.
01 Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
02 Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
03 Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
04 If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
05 Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
06 When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
07 Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
08 Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
09 They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take poo from anybody.
10 A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.