WARNING: THIS MOD HAS SOME CONTENT OF RELIGIOUS AND SEXUAL NATURE. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
If you want to skip the sexy, sexy stuff, avoid going into the Bushy Valley set at QRK Productions. Thank you~

Now that is out of the way, welcome, everybody! This little mod features a fully-voiced quest, two new buildings and plenty of new things for you to get your grubby paws on. I was inspired to do this quest after reading this Cracked article where the author gave an idea for "the single most irritating Fallout side-quest ever". I figured it would be fun to try, so here we are.

The file does not require any DLC, has been cleaned with FNVEDIT, and has been tested quite a bit, so it should be safe for everybody to use, Still, you should always make a backup save before installing ANY mod, in case something goes wrong.



There's a new home in the outskirts southwest of Primm. An old man named Theodosius has set up his fancy tent here with his maid. He, however, wonders if there's more to life than being wealthy and bored, so he needs your help collecting bibles to find out the secrets to a happy life.

There is a grand total of 50 bibles in the world, which will appear once the quest starts. You will only need 37 for the quest, but the rest are for backup in case you cannot find one due to some mod conflict, or for hoarding purposes. There are spare bibles in the two new buildings I added: QRK Productions (an old movie studio) and SherriSoda Tower (a small office building, and a reference to the amazingly fun game Cook, Serve, Delicious! - seriously, if you don't have that game, STOP EVERYTHING YOU'RE DOING AND GET IT RIGHT NOW!), located between the South Vegas Ruins East Entrance and Sunset Sarsaparilla HQ. These two buildings have map markers, although you will have to visit before you can fast travel.

The quest has quest objectives set up for the main 37 bibles, so you'll see a bunch of markers on your compass and map if you set the quest as active in your Pip-Boy. If you don't like this, don't set the quest as active and simply guide yourself with a note listing the bible locations available from Theodosius' terminal. The bibles are also set to belong to the player, but if you'd rather have to occasionally steal them, I included an optional .esp file in the download. Replace the main one with it and you'll be set.

Here's a great video of the quest by AlChestBreach. Thank you so much!




Theodosius sometimes equips a hockey mask for some reason. What's with that? I actually don't know, it happened a couple of times during testing. In any case, you can fix it by selecting him with the console and entering "resurrect".

I had some crashing problems with the GECK when I tried to load QRK Studios. The cell has plenty of portals to optimize loading, but it's still a rather demanding area with lots of things inside. I never actually crashed in-game there, but in any case, I'd recommend installing New Vegas Anti Crash. I personally do not use it but it seems to help people.

About compatibility, if you have a mod that makes massive changes to Primm, Searchlight, or the areas around the Sunset Sarsaparilla HQ, there could be issues, although all of my changes are pretty out-of-the-way. If you find any conflicts, please let me know so I can list them here.



To install, extract the contents of your downloaded file to your "Steam/SteamApps/Common/Fallout New Vegas/Data" folder. Then activate the mod through your preferred launcher by ticking the checkbox next to the esp. Or you can use the Mod Manager to download the mod automatically. To uninstall, simply delete the files from your Data folder, and you're good to go.



- I hate [thing] and [thing] and [thing]! You should have done [thing] and [thing] instead! And while you're at it remove [thing] and [thing] and add [thing] and [thing]! And [thing] is NOT LORE FRIENDLY! FIX THIS!
- This isn't a restaurant. If you don't like something, use the console to disable it, remove it with the GECK or FNVEDIT, or sell it off. In other words...

- What's with all the crap in other languages? I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
That's what I had in mind when I made the mod. Don't like, ruin my vision, man. If you absolutely cannot handle it, remove the offending items with FNVEDIT or the GECK. In other words...

- There's a lot of religious stuff and adult-themed things in this mod and I don't like it!
- Fallout: New Vegas is a mature-rated game. If you're annoyed by the items present in the mod, change whatever you don't like with the GECK or FNVEDIT. In other words...

- Are the containers in Theodosius' tent safe for storage?
Yes. They are all copies of existing containers to make sure they are not affected by mods that make containers respawn (I know I've seen a few around).

- So what exactly is in the Bushy Valley set at QRK Productions anyway?
Not much, really. Some clutter items, a new weapon, and a new piece of apparel. Don't worry, it's not a strap-on or anything. In fact, everything's pretty tame compared to the kind of thing you can find around the Nexus.

- I hate so many things being static! I wanna pick things up!
- I don't like knocking things around all the time, and New Vegas has plenty of clutter everywhere already. In other words...

- Why does the chef hat give a boost to melee weapons?
- So you can pair it with the Shishkebab, obviously!

- I went looking into the mod and I saw you have a truckload of scripts! I don't like scripted mods! Remove these scripts at once!
- About 99% of the scripts are OnActivate and simply show messages or add items to the player's inventory. If this bothers you, remove some of the scripts with FNVEDIT or the GECK, but don't come crying if the mod breaks. In other words...

- Is this compatible with [mod]?
- If you have a mod that makes massive changes to Primm, Searchlight, or the areas around the Sunset Sarsaparilla HQ, there could be issues, although all of my changes are pretty out-of-the-way. If you find any conflicts, please let me know so I can list them here.

- How come the mod looks different in my game than your screenshots?
- I am using several retextures in my own game, SweetFX and Grass is always Greener, so results may vary.

- The mod is awful/glitchy/buggy/etc. I am going to uninstall it and I must let everybody know!
- Sad to see you go~

- The mod sucks!
- So does a vaccuum cleaner ;)

FOR THE (RATHER LONG) FULL LIST OF CREDITS, PLEASE CHECK THE "CREDITS AND PERMISSIONS" TAB