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I had that dream again last night.
I'm back in Highever standing in the throne room. The castle lays in ruins and I'm trying to find survivors. Suddenly I hear a cracking sound from behind me. Like bones breaking. I turn around and.. Everyone is there. Mother and Father. Oriana and Oren. And everyone else that I left behind. They form a circle around me. They are looking at me with those big, hollow eyes. Oren approaches. He grabs my wrist. His touch is so cold and the pain is unbearable. "When are you going to teach me how to use a sword Auntie?"
Every time I wake up with tears in my eyes. I feel cold. The pain in my wrist remains for a few moments before it fades away. But the bruises.. The bruises are still there. They appeared the first time I had this dream. And although it's been quite a while since then, they are not healing.
It's like a reminder for what I have done. As if it's easy to forget. Running like a coward leaving both of my parents there to die. Sworn to serve the Grey Wardens only because it was my father's last wish. To fight with honor against the Blight. What honor? I feel only shame. I should have died in that joining ritual.
I need more alcohol before I go to bed. Where did I put that damned bottle?
I'm not a writer and English is not my native language. So there will be mistakes. :)
9 comments
I hope she can find some happness and honor fighting as a Warden, but I can understand her, after all her family died, she can't feel good about it. I really liked this part, very interesting to read.
The ending of the Human Noble Origin prologue bothers me very much. I don't like the way you leave them there. And I certainly don't like that Duncan asks to recruit you when your father asks him to help you escape. I can understand his reasons but yeah.
That is why my character feels that way. Not only she lost her family and friends that day but she left them behind to join an order, she barely knew about. And all of that for a "greater cause".
She feels so ashamed. And the dream doesn't make things better. That is why she started drinking before she goes to bet. In the day she can keep her mind occupied but in the night.. the memories are painful.
Love the whole "spooky" mood, too...Reminds me of sth out of a movie.
To be honest I was a little worried about the wrist part. The idea popped into my head while I was writing about her dream. It was not my intention to make it "spooky". But I found it interesting so here it is.
Now that I think of it.. You are right it looks like a scene out of a spooky movie.
I have written some small stories about my characters. Here in DAO section there is one part about Celebrian. And I have two more parts in DAI section about my character Luthien.
I will certainly post more when the mood is right. ^_^ I'm no writer and sometimes it is very difficult to write, no matter how hard you try.